Thursday, November 12, 2009
Hubby's difficult relationship with Oral sex.
Basically I like to use oral sex as a kind of a tool. If I've already climaxed then rather than keep on getting pounded while I get dryer I'll just give the bloke a blowjob... Easy.
So the first time I tried it with hubby it was just foreplay... He hadn't actually gone down on me but he did kind of work kisses around my vagina and labia... which actually worked for me cause I'm not a big fan of recieving oral sex... but a few kisses and a little attention was actually quite nice.
Anywho when I went to go down on him he stopped me. I asked him what was wrong.. and he just said " I don't think we're in that kind of relationship..."
"what kind of relationship?..." I asked getting a bit suspicious.
"A casual one... I want to make love to you properly..." ... That statement I like and it made me relax a little.
"So you don't like women going down on you"
"well yes but I don't want to include it in our sex life".... which was a strange statement..
"So you like getting blowjobs... but you don't want me to do it..." Straight away I thought.. right he's got ideas about blowjobs he thinks women that do them are sluts..
"I'd prefer we didn't..."
"Right I've given quite a few blowjobs to different men... so if you have any negative opinions I suggest you reasses them.." I was getting annoyed.
"No it's just I just see this relationship in a different way to other ones I've had and I want to start our sex life differently"
I quite liked that and as I wasn't addicted to sucking men off I said fine no problem..
Anywho after a while I realised that I kind of relied on oral sex...
I'd climax and he wouldn't be anywhere near ready.. I got a bit miffed after the first few times... I'd typically get dry and sore well before he'd climax.. I had a go at him for not wanting me to go down on him... his answer was that it was fine that he could take it or leave it...
Then I stated to reasses it and thought fuck it I should really be able to have vaginal sex with a man from start to finish.
So at first hubby started declaring it was okay that he was fine, that if I wasn't able to keep going that was fine. I kind of got a bit annoyed at that I declared it was a non starter and that we'd work something out.
So the sex started to get a bit more involved. I should probably point out that hubby is fairly well endowed,, so even if I applied loads of lube the sex still got painful fairly quickly.
So I started off by stopping using condoms. Normally I'd wait longer in a relationship, and for the bloke to get an std test,, but I was all clear and I knew hubby had just gotten out of a relationship and there was zero chance..
I thought that would make more of a difference, I tried just grinning and bearing but most of the time it really got painful. I experimented with using loads of lube but what it just made him last longer, he's one of those guys that the more friction the better. If I really clenched up that would make him finish quicker as well but there was only so long I could keep that up.
In the end I tried a different tack and would just get in his lap and put him inside me, I'd just concentrate on keeping myself wet and relaxed and him hard.. I would thrust or anything just keep just keep while clenching up occassionally. just chatting and snogging a little, the longer he was erect even without actually thrusting the faster he'd come.
Even though I'd stay relaxed I wouldn't be able to stay wet so I'd have to use loads of lube... poor old hubby thought he was failing somehow when I'd take him out to apply some.
Anywho I learned to tell when he got a little bit tense, and just go hell for leather for a few minutes which would usually make me climax and hubby wouldn't be long after... It was a bit of a pain sometimes but it was really worth it and I think the sex really did help build our relationship up.
I do give hubby oral now but that's more complicated still.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Hubby and rough sex.
I got a bit cross we'd known each other for about 6 months and I was attempting to ease him into doing stuff sexually that I knew was outside his range of experiences.
I think my problem was that instead of just flat out telling him what I wanted him to do, I kind of tried to manipulate him, like I'd done with previous boyfriends.
I tried to make it a bit of a game at first, I'd wriggle away from him wouldn't cooperate when he tried to undress me stuff like that. With previous boyfriends this method had worked fine then after a while just when we were getting borderline I'd set out the rules, what they could and couldn't do (you'd be surprised the amound of blokes that think that if you're into rough sex then you're up for being bummed) and maybe work out a safe word.
Actually a safeword is a big thing, even though I've never had to actually say one. Once you tell a guy that you should use a safeword... they go wow!!! this must be extreme.
You'd actually be surprised the amount of guys that aren't into it. Being rough with women takes it out of a lot of men.. even if at first they think they might like sometimes they discover that once they start ... well they just don't have it in them.
Anywho back to hubby... he wasn't too keen and he was a bit perplexed when I tried to ease him into it. So I had to straight up tell him what I wanted.
So he summed it up "I'm going to undress you and you're going to try and stop me as forcefully as you can"
"Yep" I said . I explained that we'd stop once we reached that point. "you can slap me if you want or just spank me"
"I won't be doing that" he said pretty emphatically
"treat it like a game" I said
"it's a game for you" he said kind of judgementally I thought.
Anywho in the two years we've been doing it his method hadn't really changed. It's actually the most straight forward way I suppose. I was surprised when He did it the first time.
I was used to wrestling a little bit, with previous boyfriends I'd punched, kicked and scratched and gotten slapped about a little.
Anywho as hubby told me afterwards I'm fairly strong for my size so why take any chances. He simply put me on the ground on my chest put his knee on my back and methodically stripped me.
This was a bit of a downer at first cause I could struggle as much as I wanted and not get anywhere. later I remembered something I read once about going limp for a few minutes then making a sudden surge and breaking free.Hubby learned quick though.
I go a bit nuts when he's doing it, I still go all out to break free... but really I'm just gagging for him to shag me. Occasionally I'll just orgasam by rubbing against him while he's doing it.
It's bit frustrating because as he's so careful not to hurt me he takes absolutly ages to undress me.
What is very frustrating is that up untill recently he'd insist on a cooling off period. I used to be gagging for it but he'd insist on us stopping for ten minutes or so. Typically we'd move from the living room to the bedroom to have sex.
The sex upstairs lasts just long enough for me to orgasm, then we stop and cuddle for a while, typically I go a bit girly for a bit, then we shag again and he orgasms. (though not me this time)
Anywho a few months ago I was going through a stressful period. We were doing our thing in the living room he'd just finished stripping me and taken his knee off my back, when he just went into me.
It was absolutly phenomenal. He was only in me for 15 seconds max and I just exploded. I think he got a bit freaked out actually.
I don't know what happened to me but afterwards I just got all weepey and more girly than usual. I think the stress was part of it. I just curled up his lap for half and hour and went to sleep, he didn't even get to shag me for his own benefit like normal.
Anywho this was something that I wanted to happen again. It's not something that I was going to get very far discussing with him, he'd only done it because I was going through a tough patch, and it was obvious he wasn't happy with it at all. So I figured I'd have to give something as well.
Hubby doesn't like it when I don't wear knickers so for the next few days I made a big show of putting them on. He also likes me to wear girly undies rather than overtly sexual ones, so that was two things. I also started wearing nighties to bed instead of T-shirts.
Anywho the following week when we did it again, I was all poised when he'd finished stripping me and then... nothing.. he made me wait the usual time.. I was gutted.
I still felt I was on the right path though... so I did the one thing I knew hubby wanted sexually. I hate shagging after I work out.. I always have.. I'm usually knackered feel sweaty and icky and all I want is a bath.. But the only time hubby ever gets really overtly sexual with me is when he sees me sweaty and in my sports kit..
I've let him do it a few times on special occassions and sometimes I've faked it as in I wasn't actually working out I just change into my gear and spray a bit of water strategically ( though I realised after a while that he could tell)
So the next day I timed my run for his lunch break... It actually ruined my pace cause I really didn't feel like having to face sex on the way around.
So I got back a few minutes after him discreetly applied some lube and assumed the postition over the kitchen table.
He loved it I hated it... both of us knew it.
The next day wasn't the usual day for our little session, but he dragged me into the living room anyway... it was absolutly brilliant I knew he was going to shag me even before he raised my hips after he'd stipped me like before, It was as good as the first time which is to say mind blowing. I would have preferred if he'd orgasamed as well but I understand that he wants to keep the whole session in a little box marked for my benefit only.
I was surprised I had the same reaction as before I cried a little and just wanted to cuddle, though this time after an hour or so I remembered to actually initiate sex again..
I know its strange that neither of us actually orgasmed with the other but I suppose everybody has some wierdness in there lives.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Halloween... For me not a couples holiday..
Last year we went to a mate of mines party... and hubby did not enjoy it. My mates are harmless really and actually quite like hubby, but it wasn't really his idea of a good time.
I think mainly it's down to our choice of costume. To be honest I've always used Halloween as a chance to try out clothing that I couldn't pull off at any other time. A mate of mine is really good at making clothes, she made me one costume from scratch which was a cavegirl's with scraps of leather and fabric placed strategically. The whole top part is basically just a push up bra with the straps removed. It comes in several pieces and takes ages to put on. There's not actually a lot to it, it stays in a shoe box when not in use!!. You can't actually wear knickers with it, without them ruining the whole thing , though all my bits are covered. with the bottom basically working as a kind of shorts/skirts.
Anywho hubby doesn't like it, he doesn't like any of my costumes but he hates that the most. He's quite honest about not liking guys looking at my boobs.
“but you can look at my mates boobs” I've told him
“no I don't” he told me
“but you can ... they want you to look” I've told him “tell them they look fabulous, it's not letching if you're upfront about it and give them a decent compliment”
“I don't want to look at their boobs”
“yeah you do you just choose not to”
“I really wish you'd wear undies”
“it ruins the costume, it's the one thing I've got that gives me cleavage”
He eventually came around but he didn't really enjoy the party, he always gets loads of attention from my mates (they really do find him fascinating) but it just makes him uncomfortable.
Ooh I almost forgot about the aggro last year when one of my mates boyfriends nearly had had a go at him, she was all over him (dizzy cow), and her fella got a bit worked up. Hubby was just looking at him vacantly like he was some kind of weirdo (which he was) in the end we threatened to show both of them the door.
It was kind of funny, she is a bit of a tramp anyway but it didn't mean anything to hubby. The strange thing about him is that I can trust him 100%. If he'd had the inclination he could have pulled anyone of a half dozen girls there, but he's just not wired up that way. Incidentally if you wonder about having mates that would shag my husband if he let them well... it's just their way...
So that was last year, this year I went by myself and my cave girl costume stayed at home. I have another one that my mate tailored which is a zombie one.. you know with the clothes ripped at strategic places, it was quite revealing as well I suppose but it did allow for the wearing of a bra and knickers ( which I made clear to hubby that I would be including in my ensemble).
So off I went and met the shocked expressions of my mates. Straight away they assumed I was up for hooking up with some bloke, and that somehow I had sneaked out on hubby they were a little shocked when I told them he was quite happy to let me go, and that my knickers were staying on for the night.
At the end of the day I'm in my thirties now I've done my whole slutty thing and I had fun but I've moved on though that's not to say I'm going to pass on the opportunity to dress up every now and again. I actually feel a bit sorry for my mates a lot of them are still hooking up with the same type of blokes they were 10 years ago. The type of guy that would make you afraid to drink too much cause you wouldn't trust him not to bum you when you're passed out (which happened to one of my mates last year) or take dodgey photos or invite his mates to have a go on you.
I enjoyed the party and the buzz and the flirting and didn't mind guys letching at me, but it's only good for one night and I can't base my entire social life around it any more. I think some of my mates are starting to realise it's getting old as well. They like the idea of having a decent bloke for a husband. Someone that'll drive several hours to collect you the next morning cause you can't face the train with a hangover.. like hubby.
I've told him that he would be able to pull the majority of my mates ( I get the impression he thinks I was a fluke) he doesn't really believe me though. I told him the cavegirl costume would remain in the shoebox for all time... which made him happy...
Then I made a joke (cause there has to be a ying yang) about if we ever have a daughter I can pass it on to here..... which didn't go down well..
OK I'll admit it I'm an IT mong..
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Outed
I don't remember him and I get the suspicion that he had to ask around before he could find out who I was..
So there's a lesson there for me... I feel better that I use this blog as an outlet for all the sexual stuff so I can keep it seperate from other stuff I post on the net..
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Struggling to leave myself alone...
I have kind of negative views on masturbation.. I was always a big believer in a second class shag being better than a first class wank. Of course I have masturbated but it's always been very much a kind of frustrated pissed off wank rather than the whole bubble bath and alone time thing that a lot of my mates do.. I actually turned to sex with women (well it was basically just mutual masturbation) mainly because I couldn't stand the though of sexual activity by myself..
I kind of instilled my negative views on masturbation in my husband. When I went to Afghan I told him I was intending not to masturbate for the whole time because the sex would be better when we got back... It was hard at times especially when I got pissed off with it all and just wanted to relieve tension... But the sex was really good when I got back on R and R and when I finished the tour..
I think removing masturbation as an option is what makes our sex life so good... I mean at first the sex was pretty bad... but over the course of 6 months I went from having some of the worst to the best sex of my life.
Anywho hubby is away for a few days and last night I just felt really well... you know...
I like to seperate missing someone sexually from missing them as a person.. when I told him today I was missing having sex with him (as well as him) he offered to come home for a few hours...
He's done that in the past... I was on exercise once and he drove 5 hours each way just to have a 15 minute shag in a shed.. He hated it ... I loved it and really needed it at the time...
I'm not that bad this time I can wait another few days...
I know it makes me sound like some nympho but I have my self control..
Incidently I'm considering sacking this blog and maybe finding some other outlet... I know I've said in the past that readers aren't important to me and I just use it to orgainise my thoughts... but the thought that people could read this but somehow aren't... well it's not very satisfying and I don't think I'm getting as much as I hoped out of it..
Friday, October 23, 2009
So Just what the fuck am I doing here?
I really hope I don't share a genre with that site they had a picture there of a woman with a dog collar on her hands and knees drinking out of a dog bowl... Well no thanks.. I'm open minded but I draw a line well before women get depicted as housepets.
So I got rid of my link to adult blog hub... Just as a matter of interest how are people finding this site... I'm not really getting much in the way of feedback..
For me a lot of the stuff is a little scary... The vast majority of the stuf on here is incredibly personal and would cause embarressment to me and my family if I was to be actually identified with it...
Anywho I don't know if it's even worth the trouble... At first I got a kick out of rehashing past experiences but maybe it's just a bit of a sad waste of time really...
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
The army should issue you knickers...
I should probably state now that he was handsome, shown himself to be quite brave, had a body you could die for and caring in his own way. He was the first bloke I really chased after and I considered him to be quite a catch. However his views on women in the army were kind of limited.
"the american army issue underwear" he said
"and it's horrible and none of them wear it" It was a small mercy that the British army was too cheap to follow the Yanks example.
"well it's more military" he sniffed
"I could do with some issued sports bras they cost a fortune"
"well you shouldn't wear stuff like that with uniform"
I'm not a hundred percent certain but I think I was wearing some pink briefs, they weren't sexy but they were feminine.
"nobody is going to know" I said
"i'll know and you'll know"
hhhmmm anywho I just let it go... but my ex's views on women in the british army were pretty much shared by a lot of men.
He wouldn't take orders from a woman.. though being in the infantry he was unlikely ever to have to. I asked him why once when he was a litle bit drunk and he said he couldn't take orders from anybody that had let a guy shove his cock in them.
Now that was interesting as in one go it covered both his rampant homophobia as well as his views on women.
"So you'd take orders from a female so long as she was a virgin" I asked
"do you know any" which I didn't
"What about if she was a lesbian"
"Well most of the half way decent women soldiers I've met have been lesbians"
"Thanks for that" I said
He reassured me that he did in fact think I was a good soldier, but then he just wanted to talk about lesbianism and which of my mates did I think would be up for a threesome.
Ah well...
Incidently is Hamish my only reader?
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Sex and the army II - A pleasant experience this time
Anywho my best/strangest/funniest/ and most satisfying sexual experience i had in the army happened nearly 5 years ago. I was 4 months into a six month tour in Iraq when I took my two weeks R and R. It wasn't that the tour was that bad, at the time Iraq was fairly quite .it was just hard work in poor facilities.
Anywho despite the Basra palace being 95% male there was no sex(water water everywhere and not a drop to drink) so when myself and a mate had got off a plane at brize norton after a nightmare series of plane trips. the plan was simple straight to my mates house shower change and down the town.
Anywho the plane was delayed and my mates lift had left us so we headed across to this really shitty hotel the army run and use as transit accommodation. and got an crappy shared room which didn't have enough room to swing a cat.
After About 5 minutes in the room we heard a knock at the door and there were 2 guys with a crate of beer, bottles of vodka coke and a bag of ice with grins on their faces. I vaguely remembered them from the plane
Anywho they didn't have to say anything really charming we just threw the door open and proceeded to get liquored up. both of us were only wearing our shirts bras and knickers and we were both sitting in one of the guys laps after 10 minutes feeling stonking hard ons through their trousers as we snogged them in between drinks. The only thing holding us back was the fifth wheel, their mate tommo.
He was a bit strange quite and withdrawn he hadn't even said hello. I asked the bloke whose fingers were just finding their way inside my knickers ('let's call him kev). if tommo could leave so we could get on with it. That when things started going strange.
No chance I was told and any chance of my mate or I sorting him out. I was outraged of course I said no. and then they did something strange he put me off his lap and said that they leaving. My jaw dropped I was gagging for a shag and so was my mate all three guys had very obvious hard ons and nothing was going to happen. on one level i respected their loyalty to a mate but on another it was just too bizarre as they opened the door my mate started swearing and eventually offered tommo a blowjob.
and we were back in business in a matter of minutes my knickers was off and i was back in Kev's lap except this time his cock was inside me ,my back was to my mate who was reluctantly blowing tommo. I started to take my t shirt off but was struggling to multi task as i felt hands start to help me i realised it wasn't Kev but Gaz who had nothing to do since my mate was blowing tommo.
I tried to bat him away but my heart wasn't in it. When he snapped my bra clasp i told him to fuck off in as serious manner as i could. but it was actually quite helpful. none of us had had sex in 4 months, it didn't take long for me to come and as soon as i did kev did as well obviously holding back untill i came.
Then things went bad again, tommo hadn't come yet and my mate was getting annoyed, and started swearing , then the lads got angry at her for swearing at him and threatened to leave again. so kev gave me a pleading look and i took over from. I don't usually do pity fucks but this was in my own interest i suppose.
My mate had put a condom on him , I sucked him off for a while but it wasn't happening so I decided I'd just shag him and get it over with. put him inside me. Gaz was in the process of stripping kate, he was still a little pissed i think and he started shagging her from behind against a wall
I've already stated that I thought Tommo was a little weird. they were all infantry and sometimes that can get a bit funny in the head. As I didn't know him from Adam I didn't want to give him the opportunity to lose control.
So I climb into his lab and start getting ready to do the business when he just starts cuddling me... which I was actually really in the mood for... He wasn't particularly handsome but he was well build with a really nice body, and he felt really good to be honest.
So after a while he tries to start to snog me which was a bit shit at first cause he was getting to excited but once he calmed down a little it got quite good, and I was really up for it.
So I raise myself up on my knees to put him in me when he did something that was really hot.. like I said he was really muscular so he put his hands on my bum so I was basically able to sit into them and then he start thrusting up into me.. I've been with some fit blokes but none that have been able to manage that.
It was a genuinely great shag... I had been worried that he might get to worked up, but when he saw I needed a break during it because I was getting sore he stopped without me even having to ask. He stopped as well when I came and I actually had to encourage him to keep going so he could finish (which not many other blokes would think to do)
I did a little bit of a moaning routine as well to give his self confidence a bit of a boost and for his friends benefit.
Gaz and kev had stopped what they were doing to congratulate tommo, gaz had pulled out of Kate half way through shagging her ..which did her mood no good. tommo was grinning as they slapped him on the back for 'giving me a good seeing to' . I remember gaz kissing me on the cheek which wasn't something that I thought he would do. I stayed with Tommo for another bit just cuddling and getting a bit of a rest... the room wasn't en suite so I had to throw a trousers and shirt on to go to the the toiled.
When I got back kev pulled me back into the other bed and the whole thing began again. That was pretty much the scene for the next two hour drinking and shagging. Kate had another go shagging tommo more successfully this time, her being in a better mood. As kate was shagging him gaz tapped me on the should as I lay in bed with Kev's head buried between my legs and shook his erect cock at me, it wasn't particularly sophisticated but i smiled and soon i found myself bent over the table.
Just one finger i told gaz as he started to probe my bum, "any chance..." No i Said emphatically, he was happy enough with that and went back to ragging my vagina.
After alternating betwen kev, gaz for a while and even tommo once more I'd had enough i get sore quite easily and I'd reached my limit. I lay in bed with kev stroking me. I started to doze when kate tapped me on the shoulder and asked for my purse I told her where it was and saw he take out a small tin of Vaseline i keep in there (for chapped lips), she smeared some on her bum and hopped back over to gaz who didn't waste any time taking her up the arse.
I felt kind of competitive and asked kev if he wanted to try, I'd had anal sex in the past, he probed my bum for a little while with his finger when he pushed his cock against me it was obvious it wasn't happening he stopped before i had to ask him to.
After gaz finished i told kev to see if Kate would let him do her up the bum as well but he refused, so i went over and asked her myself, telling her that i wasn't able to ,she liked thinking herself being a better shag than me so she dragged kev over to the table and did the business.
I was done for the night the next morning there were more than 20 condoms scattered around the floor. we left in a hurry when kate's lift arrived, gaz asked to keep Kate's knickers which she handed over, kev didn't ask but i gave him mine which were a slightly embarrassing set of briefs, tommo looked left out so i gave him my bra.
So thats my story which I miss not having the chance to tell people about any more. and which really shouldn't have seen the light of day, but what the fuck, getting it out there is helping me relive something worth reliving.
BTW how many people are actually reading this?
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Sex and the army
But that was never really the case for blokes, in fact it took me a while to realise that there was a certain type of bloke in the army that chases after female soldiers.
For a time I dated one, and in fairness to him he was a decent guy, good at his job popular, sex mad but at the time so was I.
So I never wanted to be one of those women that end up shagging guys when they're on duty, it's unprofessional, tacky and to be honest it just implies that you've no control of yourself.
Anywho this bf I had... well a few months into our relationship he started turning up at my company lines.. basically looking for a quickie... So I got quite pissed and told him no way..
So he apparently forgot about it.. well a month or so later I had a bit of drama... and he basically did everything the perfect boyfriend should do and generally helped me through a really bad patch.
So after all the aggro is over I decided I need to do something for him.... So i buy some nice undies start looking at booking a hotel for the weekend and looking at doing stuff I wouldn't normally do in bed which included looking into having a mate of mine join us for a threesome.
But no he doesn't want any of that .. what he wants to do is call in when I'm at work for a quickie... and I just couldn't say no. So we ended up shagging in among other places the back of a lorry... which like the other times was completly shit.
What followed was three weeks of awful sex untill I finally called a halt.
I've never understood those people that like shagging in dodgey places... I mnean what is the attraction?
Anywho everytime it was the same it lasted minutes... trousers down which I hate.. cause it took too much bloody time to get my boots off... he bangs away and then it's over...
Everytime he loved it ... and I just looked at him thinking you turned down anal sex and a threesome for this??? WTF
Ahmmm.... about the name of my blog..
I was thinking it might be down to the title.. I suppose I should have chosen something sexy and attention grabbing but anywho too late now..
I knew a guy in the army once that summed up his entire 22 year career as him having heard 'a few shots in anger' it sounded pretty cool.. sadly with Iraq and afghan I heard more than a few but still at the time I thought it was an ideal name..
I know the vast majority of my post have been about sex but well... other stuff I can discuss in real life on here I prefer to chat about sex..
Anywho that was just an FYI for my legion of readers.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
If Knickers Don't Serve An Obvious Function.. Then Why Bother?
It's slightly funny that it's called going commando because when I was in the army for and on deployment I did actually always wear knickers under my combats or more typically mens boxers cause they were cheaper and more practical.
Men could get away with going commando because male hygine is different, I had female mates that would try it sometimes arguing that it was better to wear baggy combats and no knickers because it was easier to casually clean your crotch with wet wipes, but I always found that the best way of avoiding getting nasty UTI's that women on deployment are really susceptible to.. is to constantly change knickers every chance you get. Give the old pair a quck rinse with whatever water you got to hand and then shove them next to your skin to dry, that way you could get away with changing 3 or 4 times a day. (it was actually the same concept with socks)
Anywho sorry if that's a tedious description but it was the result of years of careful study on my part... and I just thought I'd share seeing as what I wrote about in my previous post.
In my civvey clothes I prefer not to wear knickers with a skirt provided it's long enough to hide my bits... It feels better and with a skirt the knickers don't serve any real purpose anyway...
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Why anal sex can sour a relationship
I mean blokes always ask the usual stuff, like threesomes, anal sex, to let them take dirty pictures. Those I've been quite happy to say no to, because they can have adverse affects on me (though saying that I have done them at various times so maybe I'm just easy)
Anywho other stuff I didn't have a problem with like guys wanting to wear my undies (so long as they buy me new stuff) or for me to dress up or talk dirty or role-play whatever, stuff like that typically didn't take a lot of effort on my part and was a big deal to them. It didn't affect my opinion of them if they did want to say wear my knickers for a day, and I think they generally appreciated it.
I was always pretty lucky with my bf's even the weirdo's were decent enough guys and we typically ended on good terms. I think I was pretty good at spotting the type of guy that would ask you to do stuff and then think you were a slut for agreeing.
Anywho two guys I've been with have asked me to shag them up the bum.
The first time was with a bloke who asked me If I'd take it up the bum. I said no and asked him how he'd feel taking a cock up his arse. (this was what he was hoping for I discovered) he said okay go ahead.
I told him that it wouldn't make any difference to me agreeing to take it anally, but I could tell he was keen (he wasn't actually that interested in giving just receiving)
So I used my regular vibrator (plus a condom) on him, I could tell straight away that he'd done it before because I got it in on my first go, which I could never do.
So I'm banging away at him, I'm getting rougher and rougher cause I'm getting kind of into the power trip. I didn't actually realize that it would give him a hard on or cause him to orgasm (you learn something new every day). In retrospect I was way too rough with him, I was treating it as a bit of fun but I could have injured him. He was just lying there taking it and not telling me what to do – whether I was being too rough or what, I think the whole macho uncomplaining thing might have been dangerous. If it had been me I would have verbally telling the guy what to do and checking that he didn't lose the run of himself and injure me.
After we finished he was just like me after the he wanted a little cuddle which was strange to me cause he wasn't usually like that.
I think I went a bit far with the power aspect though, Even though I didn't make a big thing out of it so as not to humiliate him, I did want to explore it more. Not really in a sexual way (in fact I was getting less sex) but I just found it exciting. I wanted to buy a strap on which he wouldn't go for. One day I kind of surprised him in the kitchen got him to bend over the table he went along with it but I think he kind of had second thoughts afterwards.... I was getting a bit too aggressive. He started to get a lot more aggressive with me as well when we'd shag normally, I didn't mind it and I thought it was good for him to assert himself, but in retrospect I think he wasn't enjoying fucking me as much as he was before. He was being aggressive not out of choice but as kind of a way of protecting his dignity.
We split up shortly afterwards though on good terms, I think he appreciated that he could trust me enough to know that what happened in the bedroom stayed in the bedroom.
I realized that other guys might like it, years later I offered to do it with another bf.
That went a lot differently because he hadn't had anal sex before and it was a bit of a struggle and not that sexy, he orgasmd from it but to be honest as like before it didn't do that much for the sex generally. So after him I never offered to do it again.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Chalk on a footpath.
I quite enjoyed at first sorting out incidents from my life by commiting them to (virtual) paper, to be honest I did get a bit of a kick out of it at first which I think is the reason I've concentrated on sex.
I suppose anybody reading this is going to get an image of me as a slutty, ex soldier wanting to relive her sexual high points.. and that wouldn't be totally inaccurate I suppose. I did definitely go through an extended slutty phase, and maybe now that I've got a bit of maturity, developed a sense of introspection, and armed myself with a slightly extended (if not always solid) vocabularly it's worth while doing a bit of a sexual retrospective.
(please anybody that acutally finished school feel free to message me with corrections of grammar and spelling)
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Sex... well sort of...
I called them formative because for good and bad my views on sex were pretty firmly established within a few months of touching a guy intimately.
So anywho back to the beginning, like I described in a previous post I was pretty lucky with my first boyfriend. Sexually I was pretty much satisfied even though I'd decided that I wasn't going to have penetrative or oral sex.
But even though I wasn't giving head and wasn't shagging I had a better sex life than the majority of my mates. Rules were the key, so when my knickers were off his boxerS were on and vice versa pretty simple.
It helped that I didn't have a overly romantic unrealistic view of sex, like I said I was pretty blessed with good sex ed at school. So I didn't expect to get under the sheets turn the lights off and have a moving experience.
In fact the sex I had at first if you could even call mutual masturbation that, would have looked pretty ridiculous to an observer if by some weird set of circumstance there was one.
So I'll describe it step by step clinically. So we'd start of by me stripping of if we were someplace safe, or just taking my knickers off if it was a bit more risky. Then we'd snog while he'd finger me until I came. Pretty straight forward so far then the difficult bit.
I remember the first time I touched/saw his erect penis. It just reinforced my decision not to have sex. It wasn't that I was repulsed I was just emphatic that it wasn't going inside me.
So anywho I'm in the buff, then I tell bf that I've changed the rules and I'm putting my knickers on. He didn't ask for a reason or anything like I said he was good like that. Now that I think about it maybe it did have an effect on him? I mean I see his penis for the first time and I immediately jump back into my knickers.
Like I said I have a fairly good knowledge of all that was supposed to happen biologically, I expected that all I’d have to do was rub him for a little bit and he’d ejaculate just like the little diagram in sex ed, I understood the concept but I was actually quite excited by seeing it first hand (lol first hand)
Anyway it didn’t happen my hand was dry and friction was a problem. When he spat on his hand to use as lube it totally put me off. It sounds a bit girly but it was my first experience with a penis directly and it was having an effect. So he made his excuses and got dressed, I think he was so used to having hard ons after snogging me he didn’t really mind.
So next day was my second attempt, this time I came prepared with a bottle of baby oil. So after his fingers worked their magic and I was back in the protective shield of my knickers I pulled him out and tried again.
I tried to do it the same way he fingered me, I snogged him while rubbing his cock thinking it would only be a matter of time till he was there. Well it didn’t happen what did happen was I got frustrated and pissed off when he didn’t come, so he threw his hands up and left. Which made me feel pretty shitty.
He was a pretty great guy and bf, and he could have gone from there to the home of a half dozen other girls and gotten a no strings shag. I think I realised I needed to get my act together cause I knew I wasn’t going to find anybody better. I was so tempted just to offwr to have sex, but it just didn’t feel right.I also realised that while I was entitled to say no, I wasn’t entitled to keep moving goal posts to leave every snogging session perfectly satisfied myself but with him frustrated.
So I wasn’t that big into apologizing we didn’t do anything at lunch the next day like we’d usually do just kind of made awkward conversation. The following day we were back in my room.
This time rather than just getting myself off straight away I kept my bra and knickers on and went straight to wanking him off. I sat astride him with the baby oil and gave it my best go, cause I wasn’t snogging him I could tell what he liked and didn’t like. He kind of manoeuvred so his cock would rub against my knickers. So I lifted myself up and started rubbing his cock against the fabric which he liked. There wasn’t really a lot of fabric in the thong I was wearing so I asked if he wanted me to change.
I think he was kind of embarrassed I had noticed, he said no at first but after I stopped (my hand was getting sore anyway) and walked over to my dresser and started pulling different pairs out of my undies drawer he asked for a girly and rather tacky yellow pair that I had worn once months before but which had obviously made an impression.
So dressed to impress I headed back and picked up where I left off. His hand was kind of awkwardly reaching down the back of my knickers then down between my legs to finger my fanny. After a bit the hand stopped lay on my arse then started moving again till his fingers started brushing around my bum.
He looked all guilty, he asked if that was all right. I thought for a sec thinking he’s expecting yet another rule isn’t he. To be honest I didn’t get why he or any other guy has any interest in fingering a girls bum, I still don’t. That was obviously what he wanted though. I think it was the guilty look he had just for touching it, I didn’t want being with me to be all guilt and rules.
So I said just one finger, which like the two finger rule I gave him for my fanny was an invitation. His face just lit up, which gave me a little buzz. It felt weird having a finger poking inside me, but it wasn’t painful.
It wasn’t there long anyway seconds afterwards I felt something hit chest, I was expecting a kind of dribble not a gooey spurt, which explained my leaping back going ‘oh shit!’
Monday, February 23, 2009
The joys of bumming.
So I'm sitting there thinking is there a sluttiness scale? and does taking it up the bum move you to the wrong end of it?
I never enjoyed anal sex, I did it on a handful of occassions so I gave it fair go. I've read men find taking it up the bum enjoyable because their prostate gets stimulated, but women lacking a prostate find it a little harder to enjoy. Though I've only been with one guy that liked having his bum played with.
I think one of the key things about anal sex is that the sphincter and the rectum is something men and women have in common so if men are so keen to bum their gf's then if they want to know what it feels like they can find an object the approximite size and shape of their own cock and work it out themselves.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Reading back over the various posts I've written . I was slightly surprised by how many reference my time in the army. I left nearly 2 years ago now and has my life been that boring that I've nothing else to talk about?
I joined the army as a teenager just after my sixteenth birthday and left shortly before my 28th. So its no surprise that it made up a huge chunk of my life.
So now I'm a housewife, Hubbie didn't have to try very hard to convince me that I didn't need to get another job. I think he quite enjoys the idea of my becoming an old fashioned housewife, I think he gets some pleasure from the fact that he's able to support me quite comfortably.
So am I losing out by not getting another career? and am I a weak person for not really desiring to work? I never actually had a job apart from the army I left school quite early with unspectacular exam marks so what would I be qualified for?. If there's no economic need for me to work and I don't have any particular self esteem issues attached to having a job then why should I?
I know that hubby's life has been going a lot better since I arrived on the scene, I think his recent success at work, his being more confidant and assertive is partly down to me. We have a new home which even though I just write the cheques while hubby makes the money is looking pretty spectacular. His life does go quite smoothly because I'm around during the day, In the next year or so we'll start trying for kids and then I'll be the proper housewife.
To be honest I was glad I left the army when I did, my career was going nowhere, stuff that was fun when I was 18 wasn't when I was 28. I do miss the lifestyle sometimes not so much the work. Living out of the back of a truck for weeks at an end or getting sent to some shithole in the desert for 6 months gets old after a while.
Anyway I think for now I'll have to continue to be an ex soldier untill I get properly settled into my new life.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Busy fingers
My last post was a bit weird, but I think it was good to write it down though possibly it might not have been such a hot idea to stick it somwhere for people to read. It made me really uncomfortable at the time and I wonder am I just wallowing in it by posting what happened? Although as I don't seem to be getting any response from people I shouldn't worry. I'm lucky in a way if thats as bad as things ever got for me.
So that was one sexual experience (although with no actual sex) that left an impression on me what about some others and maybe a fun one this time.
So how about formative sexual experience. I'm one of the few people I know that had really good ones, I think it formed my opinions on sex and men really.
Anywho I was really lucky because at the time there was a really good sex education class at school (which they've since scrapped) which taught alternatives to penetrative sex. I also had an aunt that would always ask me about what was happening with boys. My mum and dad were quite sensible, my mum just told me that I could have boys in my room and she wouldn't disturb me just to stop me going some place dodgey, but she hoped I'd use some judgement.
I think that killed a lot of mystique about sex for me, most of my friends seemed to think that sex would give them some great insight into life and were keen to spill the details. Then there were the other extreme determined to remain pure or whatever and just as keen to talk about it. Even at that age I didn't really get the urge to share my thoughts and experiences sexually to the groups so I kind of just drifted.
I'd had a few fumbles with boys when I was younger and tit didn't really do anything for me. I did masturbate occassionally I suppose even before I realised that was what I was actually doing. Anywho I did want boyfriends which I had from about 13 on. But unlike a lot of my friends there was never any sex although I did enjoy snogging and I'd let them touch me (although I didn't enjoy that as much).
Anywho after a few not so serious bf 's who were mainly just a social thing I fell for this guy down the street and I was totally besotted. Anyway eventually I got him to chuck his current gf and go with me. I hadn't really changed my views on wanting sex though. You can see the problem when he dumped a gf that was putting out for one that wasn't.
He did want to have sex, but he was upfront about it, instead of trying to manipulate or pressure me he'd just straight up ask and then take no for an answer. I had all sorts of rules as well about what i would and wouldn't do, and he never broke them.
I did try to be a good gf though, he was quite involved in various clubs and such so I used go along and try and just act like arm candy i suppose, and I think he appreciated it.
Anyway back to the sex stuff, so one day we were snogging in my bedroom, like I said I had rules and at that stage it was basically he could put his hand between my legs but not inside my knickers. We'd been snogging like this for a few weeks but this time it was different because after a little while I had an orgasm just by him rubbing me through my knickers which in later years I would realise was quite impressive. It kind of snuck up on me to be honest, I was enjoying him rubbing me and kissing me and the next minute up it popped totally different from when I'd wank myself.
Another difference from masturbation was there was a guy there hugging and rubbing me, so I kind of went all girly and wanted to cuddle for a while. If he had insisted on sex there and then I probably would have been up for it, but he didn't. It actually would have eased my guilt a little if he hadn't been so nice, cause he had a raging hard on and I was still trying to decide what to do about it. In the end I didn't do anything.
The next day however he made an odd request, instead of asking me to do something for him, instead he wanted to tell his mates that he'd been able to make me orgasm just by fingering me. It was strange but I actually got where he was coming from, he was getting stick for having a gf that wasn't putting out, even more for dumping one that was putting out to get with me. Anywho I said no and he accepted it, so at this stage I was leaving him frustrated on every level.
So I kind of felt I had to make some concession, I wasn't prepared to have sex or even oral sex, I didn't even feel really comfortable about touching his cock I could feel his hard on when we snogged but I was still kind of nervous.
So I wanted to do something, so when I was chatting with my mates and sex and bfs came up like it usually did, I asked my mates if they thought I was being selfish cause my bf was taking care of me with his hands while I wasn't doing much for him. I wasn't really interested in their advice (one had an std and another had an anal sex session turn nasty so I thought any advice might be iffy) I just wanted to get it out to the school how good he was.
So the next day I told him that all my mates thought I was a bitch for not taking care of him the way he was taking care of me. He was ecstatic he had a bit of an ego and his rep mattered to him.
It didn't really take much to make him happy I suppose, anywho I reitereated my rules and that I had no intention of having sex, and he said yeah he wasn't entirely happy but he accepted it.
So we started snogging again this time when he put his hand up my skirt he got a shock when he discovered my other small step. I'd taken my knickers off so when he bumped into bare skin he nearly jumped out of his.
I felt really naughty and sex and my ego was boosted cause it was obvious how much of an effect I was having on him. One other thing I had started doing was following a trend of shaving my pubes, not really as a sexual thing I just never felt comfortable with them mainly cause there was so much of it and once I started shaving some of it I decided to get rid of all of it. So when he discovered that well it's a pretty uniform male preference I think.
I felt quite scared when his fingers started going everywhere, but he was careful and after a while I relaxed and then a while later I came again.
Friday, January 23, 2009
What's a pair of Knickers between friends?
On an army exercise years ago, myself and a guy I was good mates with spent two weeks living out of a truck at the edge of the exercise area. Anyway normaly in a mixed sex unit sending one guy and one woman out by themselves just wouldn't happen.(There should have been three of us but no matter...) But he was a pretty level guy and I had a reputation for not shagging guys I worked with so we were considered safe.
I'll say right now nothing sexual happened, we got on really well. Its hard to live in close quarters with the opposite sex, but he was really considerate. In other situations like that I'd usually shoot away in the morning to get changed and washed with whatever privacy I could get. But with him I could get changed in the back of the truck and trust him completley to keep his back turned.
So when on exercise you don't have access to a laundry and as theres only a finite amount of spare clothes you can pack, so basically you wear the same shirt trousers and jacket all the time and all you change is your bra, knickers and t-shirt. Bras in particular are total sweat magnets and you get really icky rashes if you're not careful.
Anywho typically I'd wear mens boxers rather than knickers, because, they were cheap, I didn't want my own being ruined and I could wear them like shorts for modestys sake. So in the moring I'd tell K to turn his back then once I changed my undies and t-shirt I'd tell him he could turn around.So i'd potter around in my t-shirt and boxers for a bit cause all my bits were safely covered. Occassionally as well if we were just going to be waiting in the truck I'd discreetly slip my bra off just for a few hours comfort. Anyway this one morning rather than change into boxers I changed into an old set of knickers I had, they were girly and pink but not provocative. The reason being my period was due to start and the boxers didn't really work with pads.
Anywho if you've stuck with this long rambling story untill now I'll get to the point. What happened next was the one time in my life that a mans called me a slut in all seriousness. I stood up to put my trousers on and he just went ape shit, saying that I couldn't just traipse around dressed that way, that I was trying to provoke him etc etc then the slut word appeared.
So I went crazy then we were both sitting in the back of a truck in the middle of nowhere. Anyway after a while we both calmed down I thought he might apologize, he didn't. So we had another 5 days of uncomfortable silence. In the future I made sure he didn't see me in any underwear boxers or knickers. the whole thing just left me shaken.
I totally fell out with guy, I should have left it to cool down and then talked about it. To be honest he never discussed it with anybody else either cause its the type of thing that a gossip hungry unit would have loved. I can kind of guess his thinking, one minute I'm an honorary bloke next minute 'oh no' she's a girl again.
Anywho its weird actually writing it out has brought back details I'd forgotten.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
My sister had invited me with her then bf. She begged me to go to make up the number as her dickhead bf was making such a fuss out of it. Anywho I had just gotten back from Iraq (I was in the army, that's actually a key part of the story lol it's good to edit isn't it?) and was on post tour leave but I was staying in camp for the first few days before I went on holiday to cyprus with some mates.
Anywho it was just awful, there was one other single bloke there but neither of us was interested. Then there was this shrew who kept wanting to talk about the wars in Iraq and afghanistan (apparently they were both all my fault) and her mate and and my sisters bf who were apparently her little cohorts kept pushing her along.
So anywho I just started to get drunk on the wine (some more snide comments but it made the company bearable) and just nodded and smile. But this shrew's bf kept interrupting everybody and saying they should all listen to my opinion. I actually didn't have any opinion, but I was quite chuffed that he cared what I thought so I did my best to form one quick time. So I spouted some nonsense which he didn't actually agree with but managed to rephrase for me so it didn't sound quite so witless, and he managed all this without being condescending.
Anyway future hubbie is looking red hot right about now, and I'll be honest the fact that he's the shrew's gf only makes him more appetising. So i'll skip through dinner to when I managed to get him alone in the hall and put my knickers in his hand and whispered that it would be worth his while nipping upstairs with me for 10 mins.
Of course he didn't. I was v shocked and v upset,. So I went back to the table and just got more progressively drunk.
Anywho I'll skip ahead and make clear why the story of how I met hubby isn't really one I can't tell in polite company. I was very drunk struggling to walk drunk I was also getting a bit aggressive towards the shrew.
Anywho how to get me back to camp, my dimwit sister was going to call me a minicab, untill future hubbie pointed out that he wasn't going to put a woman that could barely walk into a cab alone. So he was going to drive me back to camp and shrew and her mates were taking a cab (he's actually teetotal)
Anywho Shrew wasn't happy, I was sensing that my oppurtunity was coming around again, it wasn't.
On the trip back he managed to fend off my several attempts to fellate him, he also ignored my suggestions of good places to pull over.
anywho back to camp, I'm still not sure how he managed to get onto camp, I think what happened was he asked for a female member of the guard which there wasn't. He wasn't prepared to leave me in an all male guardroom (which I don't blame him for) and wanted a female to take me back to the room.
The guard commander couldn't care less he wanted me to make my own way back to my bunk. But future hubby wasn't having it. So the guard commander sent us both on our way he shouldn't have he didn't know hubby from adam, but I think cause he was dressed smart and spoke confidantly he intimidated the guard commander a little.
Anyway back to my room, where I had one last try confidant this would be the one. No chance. So i chucked off my dress which must have caught him by surprise cause I wasn't wearing any undies now and got into bed and that was all I remember. He actually left the knickers I gave him in my laundry basket.
So yet another turn as a social hand grenade. Any who a few days later when I was about to leave on holiday I got a call from the guard room someone was at the gate for me and i didn't recognise the name. It was future hubby, asking if I wanted to do to dinner, anyway I was getting ready to leave so we just went to a cafe for a tea.
He'd chucked his missus, I was fucking astounded. I was embarressed and got angry about what he expected to happen. But he was perfectly calm and let me rant for a bit, and I left with his phone number. He actually woudn't take my mobile no cause he said he didn't intend annoying me.
Anyway I didn't play the usual game of making him wait, the flight to cyprus was long enough. I rang him in the airport got his email and spoke to him 2 or 3 times a day along with long sessions in the internet cafe.
So thats it I came close to having a shag a few times but I just didn't feel like it. The whole holiday was intended as a shagfest so my mates got a bit pissed with me and I got dumped. So I was reduced to sightseeing around one of the most staggaring beautiful islands in the world !! imagine
What would happen is future hubby would research where I should go, then off I'd go and see it. It was quite strange having all this interaction with a guy thousands of miles away waiting for me when I got back.