Sex... well sort of...

Thinking about something to write today (I know I've been bad, like I wrote previously I don't think I have the discipline for a blog )my formative experiences with sex came to mind.

I called them formative because for good and bad my views on sex were pretty firmly established within a few months of touching a guy intimately.

So anywho back to the beginning, like I described in a previous post I was pretty lucky with my first boyfriend. Sexually I was pretty much satisfied even though I'd decided that I wasn't going to have penetrative or oral sex.

But even though I wasn't giving head and wasn't shagging I had a better sex life than the majority of my mates. Rules were the key, so when my knickers were off his boxerS were on and vice versa pretty simple.

It helped that I didn't have a overly romantic unrealistic view of sex, like I said I was pretty blessed with good sex ed at school. So I didn't expect to get under the sheets turn the lights off and have a moving experience.

In fact the sex I had at first if you could even call mutual masturbation that, would have looked pretty ridiculous to an observer if by some weird set of circumstance there was one.

So I'll describe it step by step clinically. So we'd start of by me stripping of if we were someplace safe, or just taking my knickers off if it was a bit more risky. Then we'd snog while he'd finger me until I came. Pretty straight forward so far then the difficult bit.

I remember the first time I touched/saw his erect penis. It just reinforced my decision not to have sex. It wasn't that I was repulsed I was just emphatic that it wasn't going inside me.

So anywho I'm in the buff, then I tell bf that I've changed the rules and I'm putting my knickers on. He didn't ask for a reason or anything like I said he was good like that. Now that I think about it maybe it did have an effect on him? I mean I see his penis for the first time and I immediately jump back into my knickers.

Like I said I have a fairly good knowledge of all that was supposed to happen biologically, I expected that all I’d have to do was rub him for a little bit and he’d ejaculate just like the little diagram in sex ed, I understood the concept but I was actually quite excited by seeing it first hand (lol first hand)

Anyway it didn’t happen my hand was dry and friction was a problem. When he spat on his hand to use as lube it totally put me off. It sounds a bit girly but it was my first experience with a penis directly and it was having an effect. So he made his excuses and got dressed, I think he was so used to having hard ons after snogging me he didn’t really mind.

So next day was my second attempt, this time I came prepared with a bottle of baby oil. So after his fingers worked their magic and I was back in the protective shield of my knickers I pulled him out and tried again.

I tried to do it the same way he fingered me, I snogged him while rubbing his cock thinking it would only be a matter of time till he was there. Well it didn’t happen what did happen was I got frustrated and pissed off when he didn’t come, so he threw his hands up and left. Which made me feel pretty shitty.

He was a pretty great guy and bf, and he could have gone from there to the home of a half dozen other girls and gotten a no strings shag. I think I realised I needed to get my act together cause I knew I wasn’t going to find anybody better. I was so tempted just to offwr to have sex, but it just didn’t feel right.I also realised that while I was entitled to say no, I wasn’t entitled to keep moving goal posts to leave every snogging session perfectly satisfied myself but with him frustrated.

So I wasn’t that big into apologizing we didn’t do anything at lunch the next day like we’d usually do just kind of made awkward conversation. The following day we were back in my room.

This time rather than just getting myself off straight away I kept my bra and knickers on and went straight to wanking him off. I sat astride him with the baby oil and gave it my best go, cause I wasn’t snogging him I could tell what he liked and didn’t like. He kind of manoeuvred so his cock would rub against my knickers. So I lifted myself up and started rubbing his cock against the fabric which he liked. There wasn’t really a lot of fabric in the thong I was wearing so I asked if he wanted me to change.

I think he was kind of embarrassed I had noticed, he said no at first but after I stopped (my hand was getting sore anyway) and walked over to my dresser and started pulling different pairs out of my undies drawer he asked for a girly and rather tacky yellow pair that I had worn once months before but which had obviously made an impression.

So dressed to impress I headed back and picked up where I left off. His hand was kind of awkwardly reaching down the back of my knickers then down between my legs to finger my fanny. After a bit the hand stopped lay on my arse then started moving again till his fingers started brushing around my bum.

He looked all guilty, he asked if that was all right. I thought for a sec thinking he’s expecting yet another rule isn’t he. To be honest I didn’t get why he or any other guy has any interest in fingering a girls bum, I still don’t. That was obviously what he wanted though. I think it was the guilty look he had just for touching it, I didn’t want being with me to be all guilt and rules.

So I said just one finger, which like the two finger rule I gave him for my fanny was an invitation. His face just lit up, which gave me a little buzz. It felt weird having a finger poking inside me, but it wasn’t painful.

It wasn’t there long anyway seconds afterwards I felt something hit chest, I was expecting a kind of dribble not a gooey spurt, which explained my leaping back going ‘oh shit!’

Busy fingers

I don't get the urge to talk about anything but sex on this blog. I think the reason is that I've got outlets for my thoughts on everything else but sex, Since I got married I have to be a little bit more circumspect about my conversation (did I use circumspect correctly) but that's not a bad thing. Though thanks to the net I can blurt out all my thoughts like some attention seeker (which I suppose I am).

My last post was a bit weird, but I think it was good to write it down though possibly it might not have been such a hot idea to stick it somwhere for people to read. It made me really uncomfortable at the time and I wonder am I just wallowing in it by posting what happened? Although as I don't seem to be getting any response from people I shouldn't worry. I'm lucky in a way if thats as bad as things ever got for me.

So that was one sexual experience (although with no actual sex) that left an impression on me what about some others and maybe a fun one this time.

So how about formative sexual experience. I'm one of the few people I know that had really good ones, I think it formed my opinions on sex and men really.

Anywho I was really lucky because at the time there was a really good sex education class at school (which they've since scrapped) which taught alternatives to penetrative sex. I also had an aunt that would always ask me about what was happening with boys. My mum and dad were quite sensible, my mum just told me that I could have boys in my room and she wouldn't disturb me just to stop me going some place dodgey, but she hoped I'd use some judgement.

I think that killed a lot of mystique about sex for me, most of my friends seemed to think that sex would give them some great insight into life and were keen to spill the details. Then there were the other extreme determined to remain pure or whatever and just as keen to talk about it. Even at that age I didn't really get the urge to share my thoughts and experiences sexually to the groups so I kind of just drifted.

I'd had a few fumbles with boys when I was younger and tit didn't really do anything for me. I did masturbate occassionally I suppose even before I realised that was what I was actually doing. Anywho I did want boyfriends which I had from about 13 on. But unlike a lot of my friends there was never any sex although I did enjoy snogging and I'd let them touch me (although I didn't enjoy that as much).

Anywho after a few not so serious bf 's who were mainly just a social thing I fell for this guy down the street and I was totally besotted. Anyway eventually I got him to chuck his current gf and go with me. I hadn't really changed my views on wanting sex though. You can see the problem when he dumped a gf that was putting out for one that wasn't.

He did want to have sex, but he was upfront about it, instead of trying to manipulate or pressure me he'd just straight up ask and then take no for an answer. I had all sorts of rules as well about what i would and wouldn't do, and he never broke them.

I did try to be a good gf though, he was quite involved in various clubs and such so I used go along and try and just act like arm candy i suppose, and I think he appreciated it.

Anyway back to the sex stuff, so one day we were snogging in my bedroom, like I said I had rules and at that stage it was basically he could put his hand between my legs but not inside my knickers. We'd been snogging like this for a few weeks but this time it was different because after a little while I had an orgasm just by him rubbing me through my knickers which in later years I would realise was quite impressive. It kind of snuck up on me to be honest, I was enjoying him rubbing me and kissing me and the next minute up it popped totally different from when I'd wank myself.

Another difference from masturbation was there was a guy there hugging and rubbing me, so I kind of went all girly and wanted to cuddle for a while. If he had insisted on sex there and then I probably would have been up for it, but he didn't. It actually would have eased my guilt a little if he hadn't been so nice, cause he had a raging hard on and I was still trying to decide what to do about it. In the end I didn't do anything.

The next day however he made an odd request, instead of asking me to do something for him, instead he wanted to tell his mates that he'd been able to make me orgasm just by fingering me. It was strange but I actually got where he was coming from, he was getting stick for having a gf that wasn't putting out, even more for dumping one that was putting out to get with me. Anywho I said no and he accepted it, so at this stage I was leaving him frustrated on every level.

So I kind of felt I had to make some concession, I wasn't prepared to have sex or even oral sex, I didn't even feel really comfortable about touching his cock I could feel his hard on when we snogged but I was still kind of nervous.

So I wanted to do something, so when I was chatting with my mates and sex and bfs came up like it usually did, I asked my mates if they thought I was being selfish cause my bf was taking care of me with his hands while I wasn't doing much for him. I wasn't really interested in their advice (one had an std and another had an anal sex session turn nasty so I thought any advice might be iffy) I just wanted to get it out to the school how good he was.

So the next day I told him that all my mates thought I was a bitch for not taking care of him the way he was taking care of me. He was ecstatic he had a bit of an ego and his rep mattered to him.
It didn't really take much to make him happy I suppose, anywho I reitereated my rules and that I had no intention of having sex, and he said yeah he wasn't entirely happy but he accepted it.

So we started snogging again this time when he put his hand up my skirt he got a shock when he discovered my other small step. I'd taken my knickers off so when he bumped into bare skin he nearly jumped out of his.

I felt really naughty and sex and my ego was boosted cause it was obvious how much of an effect I was having on him. One other thing I had started doing was following a trend of shaving my pubes, not really as a sexual thing I just never felt comfortable with them mainly cause there was so much of it and once I started shaving some of it I decided to get rid of all of it. So when he discovered that well it's a pretty uniform male preference I think.

I felt quite scared when his fingers started going everywhere, but he was careful and after a while I relaxed and then a while later I came again.