Busy fingers

I don't get the urge to talk about anything but sex on this blog. I think the reason is that I've got outlets for my thoughts on everything else but sex, Since I got married I have to be a little bit more circumspect about my conversation (did I use circumspect correctly) but that's not a bad thing. Though thanks to the net I can blurt out all my thoughts like some attention seeker (which I suppose I am).

My last post was a bit weird, but I think it was good to write it down though possibly it might not have been such a hot idea to stick it somwhere for people to read. It made me really uncomfortable at the time and I wonder am I just wallowing in it by posting what happened? Although as I don't seem to be getting any response from people I shouldn't worry. I'm lucky in a way if thats as bad as things ever got for me.

So that was one sexual experience (although with no actual sex) that left an impression on me what about some others and maybe a fun one this time.

So how about formative sexual experience. I'm one of the few people I know that had really good ones, I think it formed my opinions on sex and men really.

Anywho I was really lucky because at the time there was a really good sex education class at school (which they've since scrapped) which taught alternatives to penetrative sex. I also had an aunt that would always ask me about what was happening with boys. My mum and dad were quite sensible, my mum just told me that I could have boys in my room and she wouldn't disturb me just to stop me going some place dodgey, but she hoped I'd use some judgement.

I think that killed a lot of mystique about sex for me, most of my friends seemed to think that sex would give them some great insight into life and were keen to spill the details. Then there were the other extreme determined to remain pure or whatever and just as keen to talk about it. Even at that age I didn't really get the urge to share my thoughts and experiences sexually to the groups so I kind of just drifted.

I'd had a few fumbles with boys when I was younger and tit didn't really do anything for me. I did masturbate occassionally I suppose even before I realised that was what I was actually doing. Anywho I did want boyfriends which I had from about 13 on. But unlike a lot of my friends there was never any sex although I did enjoy snogging and I'd let them touch me (although I didn't enjoy that as much).

Anywho after a few not so serious bf 's who were mainly just a social thing I fell for this guy down the street and I was totally besotted. Anyway eventually I got him to chuck his current gf and go with me. I hadn't really changed my views on wanting sex though. You can see the problem when he dumped a gf that was putting out for one that wasn't.

He did want to have sex, but he was upfront about it, instead of trying to manipulate or pressure me he'd just straight up ask and then take no for an answer. I had all sorts of rules as well about what i would and wouldn't do, and he never broke them.

I did try to be a good gf though, he was quite involved in various clubs and such so I used go along and try and just act like arm candy i suppose, and I think he appreciated it.

Anyway back to the sex stuff, so one day we were snogging in my bedroom, like I said I had rules and at that stage it was basically he could put his hand between my legs but not inside my knickers. We'd been snogging like this for a few weeks but this time it was different because after a little while I had an orgasm just by him rubbing me through my knickers which in later years I would realise was quite impressive. It kind of snuck up on me to be honest, I was enjoying him rubbing me and kissing me and the next minute up it popped totally different from when I'd wank myself.

Another difference from masturbation was there was a guy there hugging and rubbing me, so I kind of went all girly and wanted to cuddle for a while. If he had insisted on sex there and then I probably would have been up for it, but he didn't. It actually would have eased my guilt a little if he hadn't been so nice, cause he had a raging hard on and I was still trying to decide what to do about it. In the end I didn't do anything.

The next day however he made an odd request, instead of asking me to do something for him, instead he wanted to tell his mates that he'd been able to make me orgasm just by fingering me. It was strange but I actually got where he was coming from, he was getting stick for having a gf that wasn't putting out, even more for dumping one that was putting out to get with me. Anywho I said no and he accepted it, so at this stage I was leaving him frustrated on every level.

So I kind of felt I had to make some concession, I wasn't prepared to have sex or even oral sex, I didn't even feel really comfortable about touching his cock I could feel his hard on when we snogged but I was still kind of nervous.

So I wanted to do something, so when I was chatting with my mates and sex and bfs came up like it usually did, I asked my mates if they thought I was being selfish cause my bf was taking care of me with his hands while I wasn't doing much for him. I wasn't really interested in their advice (one had an std and another had an anal sex session turn nasty so I thought any advice might be iffy) I just wanted to get it out to the school how good he was.

So the next day I told him that all my mates thought I was a bitch for not taking care of him the way he was taking care of me. He was ecstatic he had a bit of an ego and his rep mattered to him.
It didn't really take much to make him happy I suppose, anywho I reitereated my rules and that I had no intention of having sex, and he said yeah he wasn't entirely happy but he accepted it.

So we started snogging again this time when he put his hand up my skirt he got a shock when he discovered my other small step. I'd taken my knickers off so when he bumped into bare skin he nearly jumped out of his.

I felt really naughty and sex and my ego was boosted cause it was obvious how much of an effect I was having on him. One other thing I had started doing was following a trend of shaving my pubes, not really as a sexual thing I just never felt comfortable with them mainly cause there was so much of it and once I started shaving some of it I decided to get rid of all of it. So when he discovered that well it's a pretty uniform male preference I think.

I felt quite scared when his fingers started going everywhere, but he was careful and after a while I relaxed and then a while later I came again.