Hubby was the first man I was with that wouldn't let me go down on him. Hubby had some strange ideas generally about sex but this was really odd.
Basically I like to use oral sex as a kind of a tool. If I've already climaxed then rather than keep on getting pounded while I get dryer I'll just give the bloke a blowjob... Easy.
So the first time I tried it with hubby it was just foreplay... He hadn't actually gone down on me but he did kind of work kisses around my vagina and labia... which actually worked for me cause I'm not a big fan of recieving oral sex... but a few kisses and a little attention was actually quite nice.
Anywho when I went to go down on him he stopped me. I asked him what was wrong.. and he just said " I don't think we're in that kind of relationship..."
"what kind of relationship?..." I asked getting a bit suspicious.
"A casual one... I want to make love to you properly..." ... That statement I like and it made me relax a little.
"So you don't like women going down on you"
"well yes but I don't want to include it in our sex life".... which was a strange statement..
"So you like getting blowjobs... but you don't want me to do it..." Straight away I thought.. right he's got ideas about blowjobs he thinks women that do them are sluts..
"I'd prefer we didn't..."
"Right I've given quite a few blowjobs to different men... so if you have any negative opinions I suggest you reasses them.." I was getting annoyed.
"No it's just I just see this relationship in a different way to other ones I've had and I want to start our sex life differently"
I quite liked that and as I wasn't addicted to sucking men off I said fine no problem..
Anywho after a while I realised that I kind of relied on oral sex...
I'd climax and he wouldn't be anywhere near ready.. I got a bit miffed after the first few times... I'd typically get dry and sore well before he'd climax.. I had a go at him for not wanting me to go down on him... his answer was that it was fine that he could take it or leave it...
Then I stated to reasses it and thought fuck it I should really be able to have vaginal sex with a man from start to finish.
So at first hubby started declaring it was okay that he was fine, that if I wasn't able to keep going that was fine. I kind of got a bit annoyed at that I declared it was a non starter and that we'd work something out.
So the sex started to get a bit more involved. I should probably point out that hubby is fairly well endowed,, so even if I applied loads of lube the sex still got painful fairly quickly.
So I started off by stopping using condoms. Normally I'd wait longer in a relationship, and for the bloke to get an std test,, but I was all clear and I knew hubby had just gotten out of a relationship and there was zero chance..
I thought that would make more of a difference, I tried just grinning and bearing but most of the time it really got painful. I experimented with using loads of lube but what it just made him last longer, he's one of those guys that the more friction the better. If I really clenched up that would make him finish quicker as well but there was only so long I could keep that up.
In the end I tried a different tack and would just get in his lap and put him inside me, I'd just concentrate on keeping myself wet and relaxed and him hard.. I would thrust or anything just keep just keep while clenching up occassionally. just chatting and snogging a little, the longer he was erect even without actually thrusting the faster he'd come.
Even though I'd stay relaxed I wouldn't be able to stay wet so I'd have to use loads of lube... poor old hubby thought he was failing somehow when I'd take him out to apply some.
Anywho I learned to tell when he got a little bit tense, and just go hell for leather for a few minutes which would usually make me climax and hubby wouldn't be long after... It was a bit of a pain sometimes but it was really worth it and I think the sex really did help build our relationship up.
I do give hubby oral now but that's more complicated still.
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There is a male colleague I see once in a while. He was a mid40s physician married (and divorced) three times. Whilst in his presence, I always felt adored, almost revered. Wonderful lover leaving me feel more idolized than screwed.
One time he had done a wonderful job on me with his tongue and I moved to return the favor. He went completely limp. We talked as I began the recovery process. He had never had a blow job and thought it very demeaning to women to see a penis in their mouths.
As he began to recover, I straddled him and began to grind myself into his face; he began to repeat the job on me, from the bottom, and his erection grew rapidly. As the head swelled and turned purple, I put a liplock on him and he got his first blowjob.
He no longer resists but the few times I have blown him, I have had to sneak up a bit.
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