Sex... well sort of...

Thinking about something to write today (I know I've been bad, like I wrote previously I don't think I have the discipline for a blog )my formative experiences with sex came to mind.

I called them formative because for good and bad my views on sex were pretty firmly established within a few months of touching a guy intimately.

So anywho back to the beginning, like I described in a previous post I was pretty lucky with my first boyfriend. Sexually I was pretty much satisfied even though I'd decided that I wasn't going to have penetrative or oral sex.

But even though I wasn't giving head and wasn't shagging I had a better sex life than the majority of my mates. Rules were the key, so when my knickers were off his boxerS were on and vice versa pretty simple.

It helped that I didn't have a overly romantic unrealistic view of sex, like I said I was pretty blessed with good sex ed at school. So I didn't expect to get under the sheets turn the lights off and have a moving experience.

In fact the sex I had at first if you could even call mutual masturbation that, would have looked pretty ridiculous to an observer if by some weird set of circumstance there was one.

So I'll describe it step by step clinically. So we'd start of by me stripping of if we were someplace safe, or just taking my knickers off if it was a bit more risky. Then we'd snog while he'd finger me until I came. Pretty straight forward so far then the difficult bit.

I remember the first time I touched/saw his erect penis. It just reinforced my decision not to have sex. It wasn't that I was repulsed I was just emphatic that it wasn't going inside me.

So anywho I'm in the buff, then I tell bf that I've changed the rules and I'm putting my knickers on. He didn't ask for a reason or anything like I said he was good like that. Now that I think about it maybe it did have an effect on him? I mean I see his penis for the first time and I immediately jump back into my knickers.

Like I said I have a fairly good knowledge of all that was supposed to happen biologically, I expected that all I’d have to do was rub him for a little bit and he’d ejaculate just like the little diagram in sex ed, I understood the concept but I was actually quite excited by seeing it first hand (lol first hand)

Anyway it didn’t happen my hand was dry and friction was a problem. When he spat on his hand to use as lube it totally put me off. It sounds a bit girly but it was my first experience with a penis directly and it was having an effect. So he made his excuses and got dressed, I think he was so used to having hard ons after snogging me he didn’t really mind.

So next day was my second attempt, this time I came prepared with a bottle of baby oil. So after his fingers worked their magic and I was back in the protective shield of my knickers I pulled him out and tried again.

I tried to do it the same way he fingered me, I snogged him while rubbing his cock thinking it would only be a matter of time till he was there. Well it didn’t happen what did happen was I got frustrated and pissed off when he didn’t come, so he threw his hands up and left. Which made me feel pretty shitty.

He was a pretty great guy and bf, and he could have gone from there to the home of a half dozen other girls and gotten a no strings shag. I think I realised I needed to get my act together cause I knew I wasn’t going to find anybody better. I was so tempted just to offwr to have sex, but it just didn’t feel right.I also realised that while I was entitled to say no, I wasn’t entitled to keep moving goal posts to leave every snogging session perfectly satisfied myself but with him frustrated.

So I wasn’t that big into apologizing we didn’t do anything at lunch the next day like we’d usually do just kind of made awkward conversation. The following day we were back in my room.

This time rather than just getting myself off straight away I kept my bra and knickers on and went straight to wanking him off. I sat astride him with the baby oil and gave it my best go, cause I wasn’t snogging him I could tell what he liked and didn’t like. He kind of manoeuvred so his cock would rub against my knickers. So I lifted myself up and started rubbing his cock against the fabric which he liked. There wasn’t really a lot of fabric in the thong I was wearing so I asked if he wanted me to change.

I think he was kind of embarrassed I had noticed, he said no at first but after I stopped (my hand was getting sore anyway) and walked over to my dresser and started pulling different pairs out of my undies drawer he asked for a girly and rather tacky yellow pair that I had worn once months before but which had obviously made an impression.

So dressed to impress I headed back and picked up where I left off. His hand was kind of awkwardly reaching down the back of my knickers then down between my legs to finger my fanny. After a bit the hand stopped lay on my arse then started moving again till his fingers started brushing around my bum.

He looked all guilty, he asked if that was all right. I thought for a sec thinking he’s expecting yet another rule isn’t he. To be honest I didn’t get why he or any other guy has any interest in fingering a girls bum, I still don’t. That was obviously what he wanted though. I think it was the guilty look he had just for touching it, I didn’t want being with me to be all guilt and rules.

So I said just one finger, which like the two finger rule I gave him for my fanny was an invitation. His face just lit up, which gave me a little buzz. It felt weird having a finger poking inside me, but it wasn’t painful.

It wasn’t there long anyway seconds afterwards I felt something hit chest, I was expecting a kind of dribble not a gooey spurt, which explained my leaping back going ‘oh shit!’

The joys of bumming.

A few nights ago I was watching this Austrailian crime series called Underbelly. Anyway one of the female characters who is just the caricature of the slutty Gangster moll is listing all the sexual stuff she's done.. but she draws the line at anal sex declaring it a point of pride that she doesn't take it up the bum.

So I'm sitting there thinking is there a sluttiness scale? and does taking it up the bum move you to the wrong end of it?

I never enjoyed anal sex, I did it on a handful of occassions so I gave it fair go. I've read men find taking it up the bum enjoyable because their prostate gets stimulated, but women lacking a prostate find it a little harder to enjoy. Though I've only been with one guy that liked having his bum played with.

I think one of the key things about anal sex is that the sphincter and the rectum is something men and women have in common so if men are so keen to bum their gf's then if they want to know what it feels like they can find an object the approximite size and shape of their own cock and work it out themselves.

Reading back over the various posts I've written . I was slightly surprised by how many reference my time in the army. I left nearly 2 years ago now and has my life been that boring that I've nothing else to talk about?

I joined the army as a teenager just after my sixteenth birthday and left shortly before my 28th. So its no surprise that it made up a huge chunk of my life.

So now I'm a housewife, Hubbie didn't have to try very hard to convince me that I didn't need to get another job. I think he quite enjoys the idea of my becoming an old fashioned housewife, I think he gets some pleasure from the fact that he's able to support me quite comfortably.

So am I losing out by not getting another career? and am I a weak person for not really desiring to work? I never actually had a job apart from the army I left school quite early with unspectacular exam marks so what would I be qualified for?. If there's no economic need for me to work and I don't have any particular self esteem issues attached to having a job then why should I?

I know that hubby's life has been going a lot better since I arrived on the scene, I think his recent success at work, his being more confidant and assertive is partly down to me. We have a new home which even though I just write the cheques while hubby makes the money is looking pretty spectacular. His life does go quite smoothly because I'm around during the day, In the next year or so we'll start trying for kids and then I'll be the proper housewife.

To be honest I was glad I left the army when I did, my career was going nowhere, stuff that was fun when I was 18 wasn't when I was 28. I do miss the lifestyle sometimes not so much the work. Living out of the back of a truck for weeks at an end or getting sent to some shithole in the desert for 6 months gets old after a while.

Anyway I think for now I'll have to continue to be an ex soldier untill I get properly settled into my new life.

Busy fingers

I don't get the urge to talk about anything but sex on this blog. I think the reason is that I've got outlets for my thoughts on everything else but sex, Since I got married I have to be a little bit more circumspect about my conversation (did I use circumspect correctly) but that's not a bad thing. Though thanks to the net I can blurt out all my thoughts like some attention seeker (which I suppose I am).

My last post was a bit weird, but I think it was good to write it down though possibly it might not have been such a hot idea to stick it somwhere for people to read. It made me really uncomfortable at the time and I wonder am I just wallowing in it by posting what happened? Although as I don't seem to be getting any response from people I shouldn't worry. I'm lucky in a way if thats as bad as things ever got for me.

So that was one sexual experience (although with no actual sex) that left an impression on me what about some others and maybe a fun one this time.

So how about formative sexual experience. I'm one of the few people I know that had really good ones, I think it formed my opinions on sex and men really.

Anywho I was really lucky because at the time there was a really good sex education class at school (which they've since scrapped) which taught alternatives to penetrative sex. I also had an aunt that would always ask me about what was happening with boys. My mum and dad were quite sensible, my mum just told me that I could have boys in my room and she wouldn't disturb me just to stop me going some place dodgey, but she hoped I'd use some judgement.

I think that killed a lot of mystique about sex for me, most of my friends seemed to think that sex would give them some great insight into life and were keen to spill the details. Then there were the other extreme determined to remain pure or whatever and just as keen to talk about it. Even at that age I didn't really get the urge to share my thoughts and experiences sexually to the groups so I kind of just drifted.

I'd had a few fumbles with boys when I was younger and tit didn't really do anything for me. I did masturbate occassionally I suppose even before I realised that was what I was actually doing. Anywho I did want boyfriends which I had from about 13 on. But unlike a lot of my friends there was never any sex although I did enjoy snogging and I'd let them touch me (although I didn't enjoy that as much).

Anywho after a few not so serious bf 's who were mainly just a social thing I fell for this guy down the street and I was totally besotted. Anyway eventually I got him to chuck his current gf and go with me. I hadn't really changed my views on wanting sex though. You can see the problem when he dumped a gf that was putting out for one that wasn't.

He did want to have sex, but he was upfront about it, instead of trying to manipulate or pressure me he'd just straight up ask and then take no for an answer. I had all sorts of rules as well about what i would and wouldn't do, and he never broke them.

I did try to be a good gf though, he was quite involved in various clubs and such so I used go along and try and just act like arm candy i suppose, and I think he appreciated it.

Anyway back to the sex stuff, so one day we were snogging in my bedroom, like I said I had rules and at that stage it was basically he could put his hand between my legs but not inside my knickers. We'd been snogging like this for a few weeks but this time it was different because after a little while I had an orgasm just by him rubbing me through my knickers which in later years I would realise was quite impressive. It kind of snuck up on me to be honest, I was enjoying him rubbing me and kissing me and the next minute up it popped totally different from when I'd wank myself.

Another difference from masturbation was there was a guy there hugging and rubbing me, so I kind of went all girly and wanted to cuddle for a while. If he had insisted on sex there and then I probably would have been up for it, but he didn't. It actually would have eased my guilt a little if he hadn't been so nice, cause he had a raging hard on and I was still trying to decide what to do about it. In the end I didn't do anything.

The next day however he made an odd request, instead of asking me to do something for him, instead he wanted to tell his mates that he'd been able to make me orgasm just by fingering me. It was strange but I actually got where he was coming from, he was getting stick for having a gf that wasn't putting out, even more for dumping one that was putting out to get with me. Anywho I said no and he accepted it, so at this stage I was leaving him frustrated on every level.

So I kind of felt I had to make some concession, I wasn't prepared to have sex or even oral sex, I didn't even feel really comfortable about touching his cock I could feel his hard on when we snogged but I was still kind of nervous.

So I wanted to do something, so when I was chatting with my mates and sex and bfs came up like it usually did, I asked my mates if they thought I was being selfish cause my bf was taking care of me with his hands while I wasn't doing much for him. I wasn't really interested in their advice (one had an std and another had an anal sex session turn nasty so I thought any advice might be iffy) I just wanted to get it out to the school how good he was.

So the next day I told him that all my mates thought I was a bitch for not taking care of him the way he was taking care of me. He was ecstatic he had a bit of an ego and his rep mattered to him.
It didn't really take much to make him happy I suppose, anywho I reitereated my rules and that I had no intention of having sex, and he said yeah he wasn't entirely happy but he accepted it.

So we started snogging again this time when he put his hand up my skirt he got a shock when he discovered my other small step. I'd taken my knickers off so when he bumped into bare skin he nearly jumped out of his.

I felt really naughty and sex and my ego was boosted cause it was obvious how much of an effect I was having on him. One other thing I had started doing was following a trend of shaving my pubes, not really as a sexual thing I just never felt comfortable with them mainly cause there was so much of it and once I started shaving some of it I decided to get rid of all of it. So when he discovered that well it's a pretty uniform male preference I think.

I felt quite scared when his fingers started going everywhere, but he was careful and after a while I relaxed and then a while later I came again.

What's a pair of Knickers between friends?

I've been bad, blogs take discipline and I knew I'd struggle getting into a routine anywho.. I've been thinking again about weird sexual experiences I've had. Not actual sex but occassions when sex stuck its head in and fucked everything up. Quasi sexual is that a term lol. So rather than just let stuff gather dust in my head here's one.

On an army exercise years ago, myself and a guy I was good mates with spent two weeks living out of a truck at the edge of the exercise area. Anyway normaly in a mixed sex unit sending one guy and one woman out by themselves just wouldn't happen.(There should have been three of us but no matter...) But he was a pretty level guy and I had a reputation for not shagging guys I worked with so we were considered safe.

I'll say right now nothing sexual happened, we got on really well. Its hard to live in close quarters with the opposite sex, but he was really considerate. In other situations like that I'd usually shoot away in the morning to get changed and washed with whatever privacy I could get. But with him I could get changed in the back of the truck and trust him completley to keep his back turned.

So when on exercise you don't have access to a laundry and as theres only a finite amount of spare clothes you can pack, so basically you wear the same shirt trousers and jacket all the time and all you change is your bra, knickers and t-shirt. Bras in particular are total sweat magnets and you get really icky rashes if you're not careful.

Anywho typically I'd wear mens boxers rather than knickers, because, they were cheap, I didn't want my own being ruined and I could wear them like shorts for modestys sake. So in the moring I'd tell K to turn his back then once I changed my undies and t-shirt I'd tell him he could turn around.So i'd potter around in my t-shirt and boxers for a bit cause all my bits were safely covered. Occassionally as well if we were just going to be waiting in the truck I'd discreetly slip my bra off just for a few hours comfort. Anyway this one morning rather than change into boxers I changed into an old set of knickers I had, they were girly and pink but not provocative. The reason being my period was due to start and the boxers didn't really work with pads.

Anywho if you've stuck with this long rambling story untill now I'll get to the point. What happened next was the one time in my life that a mans called me a slut in all seriousness. I stood up to put my trousers on and he just went ape shit, saying that I couldn't just traipse around dressed that way, that I was trying to provoke him etc etc then the slut word appeared.

So I went crazy then we were both sitting in the back of a truck in the middle of nowhere. Anyway after a while we both calmed down I thought he might apologize, he didn't. So we had another 5 days of uncomfortable silence. In the future I made sure he didn't see me in any underwear boxers or knickers. the whole thing just left me shaken.

I totally fell out with guy, I should have left it to cool down and then talked about it. To be honest he never discussed it with anybody else either cause its the type of thing that a gossip hungry unit would have loved. I can kind of guess his thinking, one minute I'm an honorary bloke next minute 'oh no' she's a girl again.

Anywho its weird actually writing it out has brought back details I'd forgotten.

I'm going to try and free myself from the whole blog as a diary kind of thing and just talk about whatever I feel like. It annoys me that hubby won't let me tell the story about how we met in polite company. He'll just say yeah we met at a party then give me an intense look to remind me that there's no need to flesh out the details (it was actually a dinner party so imagine a party and then add pretentious food and coversation and remove anything remotely fun)

My sister had invited me with her then bf. She begged me to go to make up the number as her dickhead bf was making such a fuss out of it. Anywho I had just gotten back from Iraq (I was in the army, that's actually a key part of the story lol it's good to edit isn't it?) and was on post tour leave but I was staying in camp for the first few days before I went on holiday to cyprus with some mates.

Anywho it was just awful, there was one other single bloke there but neither of us was interested. Then there was this shrew who kept wanting to talk about the wars in Iraq and afghanistan (apparently they were both all my fault) and her mate and and my sisters bf who were apparently her little cohorts kept pushing her along.

So anywho I just started to get drunk on the wine (some more snide comments but it made the company bearable) and just nodded and smile. But this shrew's bf kept interrupting everybody and saying they should all listen to my opinion. I actually didn't have any opinion, but I was quite chuffed that he cared what I thought so I did my best to form one quick time. So I spouted some nonsense which he didn't actually agree with but managed to rephrase for me so it didn't sound quite so witless, and he managed all this without being condescending.

Anyway future hubbie is looking red hot right about now, and I'll be honest the fact that he's the shrew's gf only makes him more appetising. So i'll skip through dinner to when I managed to get him alone in the hall and put my knickers in his hand and whispered that it would be worth his while nipping upstairs with me for 10 mins.

Of course he didn't. I was v shocked and v upset,. So I went back to the table and just got more progressively drunk.

Anywho I'll skip ahead and make clear why the story of how I met hubby isn't really one I can't tell in polite company. I was very drunk struggling to walk drunk I was also getting a bit aggressive towards the shrew.

Anywho how to get me back to camp, my dimwit sister was going to call me a minicab, untill future hubbie pointed out that he wasn't going to put a woman that could barely walk into a cab alone. So he was going to drive me back to camp and shrew and her mates were taking a cab (he's actually teetotal)

Anywho Shrew wasn't happy, I was sensing that my oppurtunity was coming around again, it wasn't.

On the trip back he managed to fend off my several attempts to fellate him, he also ignored my suggestions of good places to pull over.

anywho back to camp, I'm still not sure how he managed to get onto camp, I think what happened was he asked for a female member of the guard which there wasn't. He wasn't prepared to leave me in an all male guardroom (which I don't blame him for) and wanted a female to take me back to the room.

The guard commander couldn't care less he wanted me to make my own way back to my bunk. But future hubby wasn't having it. So the guard commander sent us both on our way he shouldn't have he didn't know hubby from adam, but I think cause he was dressed smart and spoke confidantly he intimidated the guard commander a little.

Anyway back to my room, where I had one last try confidant this would be the one. No chance. So i chucked off my dress which must have caught him by surprise cause I wasn't wearing any undies now and got into bed and that was all I remember. He actually left the knickers I gave him in my laundry basket.

So yet another turn as a social hand grenade. Any who a few days later when I was about to leave on holiday I got a call from the guard room someone was at the gate for me and i didn't recognise the name. It was future hubby, asking if I wanted to do to dinner, anyway I was getting ready to leave so we just went to a cafe for a tea.

He'd chucked his missus, I was fucking astounded. I was embarressed and got angry about what he expected to happen. But he was perfectly calm and let me rant for a bit, and I left with his phone number. He actually woudn't take my mobile no cause he said he didn't intend annoying me.

Anyway I didn't play the usual game of making him wait, the flight to cyprus was long enough. I rang him in the airport got his email and spoke to him 2 or 3 times a day along with long sessions in the internet cafe.

So thats it I came close to having a shag a few times but I just didn't feel like it. The whole holiday was intended as a shagfest so my mates got a bit pissed with me and I got dumped. So I was reduced to sightseeing around one of the most staggaring beautiful islands in the world !! imagine

What would happen is future hubby would research where I should go, then off I'd go and see it. It was quite strange having all this interaction with a guy thousands of miles away waiting for me when I got back.