Hubby and rough sex.

I suppose if I went to a psychiatrist he might be able to explain to me why I like for sex to occassionally border on the violent. In fact huuby suggested once that I do just that.

I got a bit cross we'd known each other for about 6 months and I was attempting to ease him into doing stuff sexually that I knew was outside his range of experiences.

I think my problem was that instead of just flat out telling him what I wanted him to do, I kind of tried to manipulate him, like I'd done with previous boyfriends.

I tried to make it a bit of a game at first, I'd wriggle away from him wouldn't cooperate when he tried to undress me stuff like that. With previous boyfriends this method had worked fine then after a while just when we were getting borderline I'd set out the rules, what they could and couldn't do (you'd be surprised the amound of blokes that think that if you're into rough sex then you're up for being bummed) and maybe work out a safe word.

Actually a safeword is a big thing, even though I've never had to actually say one. Once you tell a guy that you should use a safeword... they go wow!!! this must be extreme.

You'd actually be surprised the amount of guys that aren't into it. Being rough with women takes it out of a lot of men.. even if at first they think they might like sometimes they discover that once they start ... well they just don't have it in them.

Anywho back to hubby... he wasn't too keen and he was a bit perplexed when I tried to ease him into it. So I had to straight up tell him what I wanted.

So he summed it up "I'm going to undress you and you're going to try and stop me as forcefully as you can"

"Yep" I said . I explained that we'd stop once we reached that point. "you can slap me if you want or just spank me"

"I won't be doing that" he said pretty emphatically

"treat it like a game" I said

"it's a game for you" he said kind of judgementally I thought.

Anywho in the two years we've been doing it his method hadn't really changed. It's actually the most straight forward way I suppose. I was surprised when He did it the first time.

I was used to wrestling a little bit, with previous boyfriends I'd punched, kicked and scratched and gotten slapped about a little.

Anywho as hubby told me afterwards I'm fairly strong for my size so why take any chances. He simply put me on the ground on my chest put his knee on my back and methodically stripped me.

This was a bit of a downer at first cause I could struggle as much as I wanted and not get anywhere. later I remembered something I read once about going limp for a few minutes then making a sudden surge and breaking free.Hubby learned quick though.

I go a bit nuts when he's doing it, I still go all out to break free... but really I'm just gagging for him to shag me. Occasionally I'll just orgasam by rubbing against him while he's doing it.

It's bit frustrating because as he's so careful not to hurt me he takes absolutly ages to undress me.

What is very frustrating is that up untill recently he'd insist on a cooling off period. I used to be gagging for it but he'd insist on us stopping for ten minutes or so. Typically we'd move from the living room to the bedroom to have sex.

The sex upstairs lasts just long enough for me to orgasm, then we stop and cuddle for a while, typically I go a bit girly for a bit, then we shag again and he orgasms. (though not me this time)

Anywho a few months ago I was going through a stressful period. We were doing our thing in the living room he'd just finished stripping me and taken his knee off my back, when he just went into me.

It was absolutly phenomenal. He was only in me for 15 seconds max and I just exploded. I think he got a bit freaked out actually.

I don't know what happened to me but afterwards I just got all weepey and more girly than usual. I think the stress was part of it. I just curled up his lap for half and hour and went to sleep, he didn't even get to shag me for his own benefit like normal.

Anywho this was something that I wanted to happen again. It's not something that I was going to get very far discussing with him, he'd only done it because I was going through a tough patch, and it was obvious he wasn't happy with it at all. So I figured I'd have to give something as well.

Hubby doesn't like it when I don't wear knickers so for the next few days I made a big show of putting them on. He also likes me to wear girly undies rather than overtly sexual ones, so that was two things. I also started wearing nighties to bed instead of T-shirts.

Anywho the following week when we did it again, I was all poised when he'd finished stripping me and then... nothing.. he made me wait the usual time.. I was gutted.

I still felt I was on the right path though... so I did the one thing I knew hubby wanted sexually. I hate shagging after I work out.. I always have.. I'm usually knackered feel sweaty and icky and all I want is a bath.. But the only time hubby ever gets really overtly sexual with me is when he sees me sweaty and in my sports kit..

I've let him do it a few times on special occassions and sometimes I've faked it as in I wasn't actually working out I just change into my gear and spray a bit of water strategically ( though I realised after a while that he could tell)

So the next day I timed my run for his lunch break... It actually ruined my pace cause I really didn't feel like having to face sex on the way around.

So I got back a few minutes after him discreetly applied some lube and assumed the postition over the kitchen table.

He loved it I hated it... both of us knew it.

The next day wasn't the usual day for our little session, but he dragged me into the living room anyway... it was absolutly brilliant I knew he was going to shag me even before he raised my hips after he'd stipped me like before, It was as good as the first time which is to say mind blowing. I would have preferred if he'd orgasamed as well but I understand that he wants to keep the whole session in a little box marked for my benefit only.

I was surprised I had the same reaction as before I cried a little and just wanted to cuddle, though this time after an hour or so I remembered to actually initiate sex again..

I know its strange that neither of us actually orgasmed with the other but I suppose everybody has some wierdness in there lives.

Halloween... For me not a couples holiday..

I Left my husband off Halloween this year. It's not that he hates the whole giving out sweets to children that he likes... but my husband is very much into the Disney vision of Halloween whereas my mates and I have more the X rated vision and traditionally use Halloween as an excuse to let rip.

Last year we went to a mate of mines party... and hubby did not enjoy it. My mates are harmless really and actually quite like hubby, but it wasn't really his idea of a good time.

I think mainly it's down to our choice of costume. To be honest I've always used Halloween as a chance to try out clothing that I couldn't pull off at any other time. A mate of mine is really good at making clothes, she made me one costume from scratch which was a cavegirl's with scraps of leather and fabric placed strategically. The whole top part is basically just a push up bra with the straps removed. It comes in several pieces and takes ages to put on. There's not actually a lot to it, it stays in a shoe box when not in use!!. You can't actually wear knickers with it, without them ruining the whole thing , though all my bits are covered. with the bottom basically working as a kind of shorts/skirts.

Anywho hubby doesn't like it, he doesn't like any of my costumes but he hates that the most. He's quite honest about not liking guys looking at my boobs.

“but you can look at my mates boobs” I've told him

“no I don't” he told me

“but you can ... they want you to look” I've told him “tell them they look fabulous, it's not letching if you're upfront about it and give them a decent compliment”

“I don't want to look at their boobs”

“yeah you do you just choose not to”

“I really wish you'd wear undies”

“it ruins the costume, it's the one thing I've got that gives me cleavage”

He eventually came around but he didn't really enjoy the party, he always gets loads of attention from my mates (they really do find him fascinating) but it just makes him uncomfortable.

Ooh I almost forgot about the aggro last year when one of my mates boyfriends nearly had had a go at him, she was all over him (dizzy cow), and her fella got a bit worked up. Hubby was just looking at him vacantly like he was some kind of weirdo (which he was) in the end we threatened to show both of them the door.

It was kind of funny, she is a bit of a tramp anyway but it didn't mean anything to hubby. The strange thing about him is that I can trust him 100%. If he'd had the inclination he could have pulled anyone of a half dozen girls there, but he's just not wired up that way. Incidentally if you wonder about having mates that would shag my husband if he let them well... it's just their way...

So that was last year, this year I went by myself and my cave girl costume stayed at home. I have another one that my mate tailored which is a zombie one.. you know with the clothes ripped at strategic places, it was quite revealing as well I suppose but it did allow for the wearing of a bra and knickers ( which I made clear to hubby that I would be including in my ensemble).

So off I went and met the shocked expressions of my mates. Straight away they assumed I was up for hooking up with some bloke, and that somehow I had sneaked out on hubby they were a little shocked when I told them he was quite happy to let me go, and that my knickers were staying on for the night.

At the end of the day I'm in my thirties now I've done my whole slutty thing and I had fun but I've moved on though that's not to say I'm going to pass on the opportunity to dress up every now and again. I actually feel a bit sorry for my mates a lot of them are still hooking up with the same type of blokes they were 10 years ago. The type of guy that would make you afraid to drink too much cause you wouldn't trust him not to bum you when you're passed out (which happened to one of my mates last year) or take dodgey photos or invite his mates to have a go on you.

I enjoyed the party and the buzz and the flirting and didn't mind guys letching at me, but it's only good for one night and I can't base my entire social life around it any more. I think some of my mates are starting to realise it's getting old as well. They like the idea of having a decent bloke for a husband. Someone that'll drive several hours to collect you the next morning cause you can't face the train with a hangover.. like hubby.

I've told him that he would be able to pull the majority of my mates ( I get the impression he thinks I was a fluke) he doesn't really believe me though. I told him the cavegirl costume would remain in the shoebox for all time... which made him happy...

Then I made a joke (cause there has to be a ying yang) about if we ever have a daughter I can pass it on to here..... which didn't go down well..

OK I'll admit it I'm an IT mong..

So I took an attempt at sprucing up this blog thingie... but it's kind of had mixed results... I started trying to look up ways of making my blog look all nice and flash like so many other ones you see on the net... well umpteen explanations of HTML was enough to drive me literally to drink... Anywho in future for optimum results this blog should be viewed through an alcohol induced haze..

Outed

I got a bit of a fright the other day.. I post on a forum about various other things and I got ahm a bit worked up about an incident that happened when I was in the army. I should have realised that other people that were posting would be able to piece together who I was from my posts... Yet I was still surprised when I got a PM from a guy who said he knew me...

I don't remember him and I get the suspicion that he had to ask around before he could find out who I was..

So there's a lesson there for me... I feel better that I use this blog as an outlet for all the sexual stuff so I can keep it seperate from other stuff I post on the net..

Struggling to leave myself alone...

I came really close to masturbating last night.. I didn't even notice myself doing it at first.. I'd had a drink went to bed started to toss and turn for a while and the next thing I know I'm fingering myself...

I have kind of negative views on masturbation.. I was always a big believer in a second class shag being better than a first class wank. Of course I have masturbated but it's always been very much a kind of frustrated pissed off wank rather than the whole bubble bath and alone time thing that a lot of my mates do.. I actually turned to sex with women (well it was basically just mutual masturbation) mainly because I couldn't stand the though of sexual activity by myself..

I kind of instilled my negative views on masturbation in my husband. When I went to Afghan I told him I was intending not to masturbate for the whole time because the sex would be better when we got back... It was hard at times especially when I got pissed off with it all and just wanted to relieve tension... But the sex was really good when I got back on R and R and when I finished the tour..

I think removing masturbation as an option is what makes our sex life so good... I mean at first the sex was pretty bad... but over the course of 6 months I went from having some of the worst to the best sex of my life.

Anywho hubby is away for a few days and last night I just felt really well... you know...

I like to seperate missing someone sexually from missing them as a person.. when I told him today I was missing having sex with him (as well as him) he offered to come home for a few hours...

He's done that in the past... I was on exercise once and he drove 5 hours each way just to have a 15 minute shag in a shed.. He hated it ... I loved it and really needed it at the time...

I'm not that bad this time I can wait another few days...

I know it makes me sound like some nympho but I have my self control..



Incidently I'm considering sacking this blog and maybe finding some other outlet... I know I've said in the past that readers aren't important to me and I just use it to orgainise my thoughts... but the thought that people could read this but somehow aren't... well it's not very satisfying and I don't think I'm getting as much as I hoped out of it..

So Just what the fuck am I doing here?

I just finished having a look at adult blog hub... I orginally listed my blog there because I read somewhere that's what you're meant to do list your blogs on sites that share a genre...

I really hope I don't share a genre with that site they had a picture there of a woman with a dog collar on her hands and knees drinking out of a dog bowl... Well no thanks.. I'm open minded but I draw a line well before women get depicted as housepets.

So I got rid of my link to adult blog hub... Just as a matter of interest how are people finding this site... I'm not really getting much in the way of feedback..

For me a lot of the stuff is a little scary... The vast majority of the stuf on here is incredibly personal and would cause embarressment to me and my family if I was to be actually identified with it...

Anywho I don't know if it's even worth the trouble... At first I got a kick out of rehashing past experiences but maybe it's just a bit of a sad waste of time really...

The army should issue you knickers...

That was what a boyfriend I once had used say to me. He was an infantry soldier and his life revolved around the British army. He found it disconcerting when he saw me getting changed into my uniform that typically my bra and knickers would clash with the green of my uniform.

I should probably state now that he was handsome, shown himself to be quite brave, had a body you could die for and caring in his own way. He was the first bloke I really chased after and I considered him to be quite a catch. However his views on women in the army were kind of limited.

"the american army issue underwear" he said

"and it's horrible and none of them wear it" It was a small mercy that the British army was too cheap to follow the Yanks example.

"well it's more military" he sniffed

"I could do with some issued sports bras they cost a fortune"

"well you shouldn't wear stuff like that with uniform"

I'm not a hundred percent certain but I think I was wearing some pink briefs, they weren't sexy but they were feminine.

"nobody is going to know" I said

"i'll know and you'll know"

hhhmmm anywho I just let it go... but my ex's views on women in the british army were pretty much shared by a lot of men.

He wouldn't take orders from a woman.. though being in the infantry he was unlikely ever to have to. I asked him why once when he was a litle bit drunk and he said he couldn't take orders from anybody that had let a guy shove his cock in them.

Now that was interesting as in one go it covered both his rampant homophobia as well as his views on women.

"So you'd take orders from a female so long as she was a virgin" I asked

"do you know any" which I didn't

"What about if she was a lesbian"

"Well most of the half way decent women soldiers I've met have been lesbians"

"Thanks for that" I said

He reassured me that he did in fact think I was a good soldier, but then he just wanted to talk about lesbianism and which of my mates did I think would be up for a threesome.

Ah well...

Incidently is Hamish my only reader?