Bodily functions and other Ickyness.

I can't remember If I mentioned it in previous posts but I was in quite a serious accident several years ago.

I won't describe the accident but I was in a bit of a mess afterwards. While it wasn't life threatening I'd smashed myself up pretty badly. While I escaped having a full body cast, my mobility was basically non existant with lower and upper body injuries so I couldn't even shift my weight around in bed without assistance.

So as all my posts are about sex.... where you might ask does sex come into this?

Well to start things off I was lucky with both my friends and my then boyfriend.

To be honest I didn't really see him as a long term partner. I strongly suspected at the time (rightly) that he was cheating and I was looking at ending it.

However as soon as he arrived on the scene (he'd been on exercise and got back a week or so after I'd been injured) he was there for me totally.

Anywho lets have a look at life in a hospital ward. Well for starters it was a German Hospital which is so much better than practically any other hospital in the world. So I lucked out there.

By ward it was only one in the sense of 4 person rooms grouped together. The Doctors were really good though I didn't really take to the nurses...at the time I found them a little severe plus there was the language barrier.

But that's where my Boyfriend and mates came in. Once the catheter came out, simply having a pee became an ordeal lasting quite a while, and when I finally managed to Poo that was a nightmare as well (intravenous drips, no fibre in my diet, and the indignity of having an enema).

My boyfriend was able to logically work out how to shift me into position so he could take my weight so I could use a bedpan.... though it was actually a two person job, one to hold me and one to position the bedpan.

While urination was bad enough the joys of medically induced constipation made No 2s a nightmare, but my mates and boyfriend hung in there. The nurses were actually impressed and just let us to get on with it, beding visiting time rules as it took a high maintaince patient off their shoulders.

Some of the other patients were envious I think. They were restricted to having to wait for a nurse where as I always had somebody to hand.

Later there were the sponge baths... Less sexy than they sound... My Boyfriend certainly didn't get anything from it. I prefered him to do it than my mates but still it was a two person job at first.

After a while the two of them were able to get me into the shower... which was a big thing, because if you've only had sponge baths for over a month, a shower feels like heaven.

Around this time my mate suggested it might be an idea to do something for my boyfriend.I hadn't really thought about it, but it did occur to me that he didn't hae to do a fraction of the things he had. I had various Obgyn issues, so I wasn't going to be having sex for months though sometimes I still got horny, I couldn't stand to have anything rougher than a cloth on my sex.

He'd been on his best behavious spending all his free time with me... There's been no hint of him looking at anyone else (which was remarked on by all).

Anywho one day in the shower my mate discretly left and I proceeded to give him a blowjob...

It was an asbolute disaster, Considering he was pretty highly sexed I kind of took it as a reflection on me that I couldn't get him hard let alone get him off.. I felt pretty shit afterwards... He made all sorts of excuses but at the end of the day getting a blowjob from someone in a wheelchair wasn't his scene.

So I was in the dumps for a while...I was starting my physiotherapy and starting to get my mobility back. My mate hit on the idea of casts aside trying to tart me up.. So out came the wax strips... As well as my waxing my legs my pubes needed to go...

I'd shaved my pubes since I was a teenager so when they grew back they were like wire... I got a bit of tut tuting from the Obgyn when she saw me next (women obgyns are far more judgemental than me) but it was worth it as my boyfriend liked what he saw...

tbc