Sex and Violence...

I'm not a violent person but.... lol there's always a 'but' when someone feels the need to point out they're not violent.

But I have occasionally ended up in fights... I don't think being in the army made me any more prone to violence... but I think fights and such were more acceptable socially... I know that sounds weird but it was the army...

I'm still a little bit confused about this experience so rather than trying to articulate my motivations and feelings at the time... I'm just going to describe the events as clearly as I can...

I was in a bar one evening in Germany, with my then bf and some of his mate. Socially it wasn't really my scene plus the bar was a bit of a shithole.I was getting a bit tired of it to be honest, the blokes were looking to move on to a club so I figured that would be my cue to make an exit.

Anywho this eastern European (maybe Polish, she definitely wasn't German) woman came up to me on my way back from the toilet... I really didn't know what she wanted but she was obviously drunk and pissed off, the music was loud and I wasn't really in the mood for a labored conversation's basically after a bit I gave up on the conversation gave her a smile and turned to walk away...

At which point she grabbed me by the hair and pulled me back and starts shouting into to my face while still holding on to my hair...

So I'm in shock for a few seconds and then I just went mental... I started punching her in the face... which caused her to let go... she was a bit shocked now, I was still punching her and I remember she was bleeding...

She was a good bit bigger than me and she started to try and grab me but mainly ended up with clumps of my dress and hair... Though I got pretty badly scratched and marked from where my clothes cut into my skin as she pulled them..

In the end I ended up putting her down with a punch to stomach. I was ready to start kicking her (harsh I know) but she threw up ... which was kind of nasty...

There were two blokes nearby who were shouting I guessed they were friends of hers, but my boyfriends mates were stopping them from getting near me...

If you think my bf was trying to break the fight up you'd be wrong he was cheering as loud as he could and so were his mates. Like I said it was the army and their attitudes were a wee bit different from civvies..

After it ended I was just standing there, my heart was raising, I remember having a bit of a headache coming on... I was pissed because she had ripped my top and I was just thinking 'What the fuck just happened'...

Anywho my bf came up to me and told me he'd take me home which sounded good... The bar staff wanted us gone anyway... If it had been England there would have been bouncers but things tend to be a bit more sedate in Germany.

Anywho instead of leading me out the front my bf took me out the back to the car park and over to a corner at the park that wasn't lit where he proceed to lean my against a wall and rip my knickers off.

I don't usually do sex in dodgey places, but my bf was quite perceptive and sensed that I might be up for it, he didn't actually say anything... I was trying to decide if I even wanted sex because my head was still spinning. It felt kind of like a mixture between being stoned and drunk, alternating between high and low..

I kind of enjoyed him fucking me cause the sensation was different than normal... as he was doing it I was just replaying what had happened inside.. my mind concentrated on that rather than on the sex... which is why my first orgasm kind of snuck up on me...

I hardly ever have multiple orgasms so after I came I was basically just waiting for him to finish when I orgasmed again... which kind of set my bf off more...

Then he pulled out of me and goes to take my up the bum... Anal sex was only something I let him do very rarely.. but for some reason the mindset I was in I didn't really mind...

Anywho I was so hyped up I didn't feel much pain (though I did later) it was the only time I ever orgasmed from anal sex... and again my bf was pretty hyped up about it...

When we got home he absolutely hammered me for what seemed ages...

The next morning I was absolutely aching, I had cuts and bruises I hasn't noticed at the time but I felt them now, plus I was aching from the sex, I hadn't prepped for the anal sex and it felt bad ... vaginally I didn't feel any better...

Apart from the Cuts and bruises there was what felt like a really bad hangover...

I was lying in bed a little pissed off with my bf being so rough with me when he fucked and I was still just think 'What the Fuck happend'...

I mean the sex was good it was exciting, I had never had three orgasms one after the other like that before.

I felt good after a bit for actually winning the fight. To be honest I liked the way my boyfriends regard for me increased. He was very image conscious and I'd looked good in front of his mates which to him was very important..

I know it sounds shallow of both him and me but that's just the way it worked... Sexually things got really good, he seemed to have this new energy when he was fucking me and it was good...

On an intellectual level I get that the adrenaline from being in the fight was still in my system when he fucked me outside but still, my thoughts on it are different every time I think about it.

Why anal sex can sour a relationship

I don't know what it is about me but blokes have never been as shy as they perhaps should have been to ask me to do weird things.

I mean blokes always ask the usual stuff, like threesomes, anal sex, to let them take dirty pictures. Those I've been quite happy to say no to, because they can have adverse affects on me (though saying that I have done them at various times so maybe I'm just easy)

Anywho other stuff I didn't have a problem with like guys wanting to wear my undies (so long as they buy me new stuff) or for me to dress up or talk dirty or role-play whatever, stuff like that typically didn't take a lot of effort on my part and was a big deal to them. It didn't affect my opinion of them if they did want to say wear my knickers for a day, and I think they generally appreciated it.

I was always pretty lucky with my bf's even the weirdo's were decent enough guys and we typically ended on good terms. I think I was pretty good at spotting the type of guy that would ask you to do stuff and then think you were a slut for agreeing.

Anywho two guys I've been with have asked me to shag them up the bum.

The first time was with a bloke who asked me If I'd take it up the bum. I said no and asked him how he'd feel taking a cock up his arse. (this was what he was hoping for I discovered) he said okay go ahead.

I told him that it wouldn't make any difference to me agreeing to take it anally, but I could tell he was keen (he wasn't actually that interested in giving just receiving)

So I used my regular vibrator (plus a condom) on him, I could tell straight away that he'd done it before because I got it in on my first go, which I could never do.

So I'm banging away at him, I'm getting rougher and rougher cause I'm getting kind of into the power trip. I didn't actually realize that it would give him a hard on or cause him to orgasm (you learn something new every day). In retrospect I was way too rough with him, I was treating it as a bit of fun but I could have injured him. He was just lying there taking it and not telling me what to do – whether I was being too rough or what, I think the whole macho uncomplaining thing might have been dangerous. If it had been me I would have verbally telling the guy what to do and checking that he didn't lose the run of himself and injure me.

After we finished he was just like me after the he wanted a little cuddle which was strange to me cause he wasn't usually like that.

I think I went a bit far with the power aspect though, Even though I didn't make a big thing out of it so as not to humiliate him, I did want to explore it more. Not really in a sexual way (in fact I was getting less sex) but I just found it exciting. I wanted to buy a strap on which he wouldn't go for. One day I kind of surprised him in the kitchen got him to bend over the table he went along with it but I think he kind of had second thoughts afterwards.... I was getting a bit too aggressive. He started to get a lot more aggressive with me as well when we'd shag normally, I didn't mind it and I thought it was good for him to assert himself, but in retrospect I think he wasn't enjoying fucking me as much as he was before. He was being aggressive not out of choice but as kind of a way of protecting his dignity.

We split up shortly afterwards though on good terms, I think he appreciated that he could trust me enough to know that what happened in the bedroom stayed in the bedroom.

I realized that other guys might like it, years later I offered to do it with another bf.

That went a lot differently because he hadn't had anal sex before and it was a bit of a struggle and not that sexy, he orgasmd from it but to be honest as like before it didn't do that much for the sex generally. So after him I never offered to do it again.

The joys of bumming.

A few nights ago I was watching this Austrailian crime series called Underbelly. Anyway one of the female characters who is just the caricature of the slutty Gangster moll is listing all the sexual stuff she's done.. but she draws the line at anal sex declaring it a point of pride that she doesn't take it up the bum.

So I'm sitting there thinking is there a sluttiness scale? and does taking it up the bum move you to the wrong end of it?

I never enjoyed anal sex, I did it on a handful of occassions so I gave it fair go. I've read men find taking it up the bum enjoyable because their prostate gets stimulated, but women lacking a prostate find it a little harder to enjoy. Though I've only been with one guy that liked having his bum played with.

I think one of the key things about anal sex is that the sphincter and the rectum is something men and women have in common so if men are so keen to bum their gf's then if they want to know what it feels like they can find an object the approximite size and shape of their own cock and work it out themselves.